How to spot when an older loved one may need extra support

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Recognising when an older loved one needs extra support isn’t always straightforward. 

Many of the changes that come with ageing happen gradually, making them easy to dismiss as part of growing older. However, if someone is living with dementia or another long-term health condition, subtle changes can sometimes indicate that they are finding everyday life more challenging than before.

While it can be difficult to know when to step in, paying attention to changes in a person’s appearance, behaviour and daily routine can help you recognise when additional support may be beneficial. 

Early intervention can make a significant difference, helping someone remain safe, maintain their independence for longer and improve their overall quality of life.

Physical signs to look out for

Physical changes are often among the earliest signs that someone may be struggling to manage on their own. For people living with dementia, this could include becoming disorientated or getting lost in places that were once familiar. You may also notice that they seem less confident when out and about or begin avoiding activities they previously enjoyed.

Changes in appearance can also provide important clues. Unexplained weight loss may suggest they are forgetting to eat, finding cooking difficult or no longer able to shop for food regularly. Wearing the same clothes for several days, appearing less well-groomed or neglecting personal hygiene may indicate that everyday routines have become harder to manage.

It’s also worth paying attention to unexplained bruises or minor injuries. These may be signs of an increase in falls or accidents caused by reduced mobility, poor balance or changes in memory and judgement. Similarly, an untidy home, unopened post or expired food in the fridge can all be indicators that someone is struggling with daily tasks.

Emotional and behavioural changes

Not all signs are physical. Dementia and other neurological conditions can affect a person’s emotions, confidence and behaviour long before more obvious symptoms appear.

You may notice that your loved one becomes withdrawn, anxious or unusually suspicious. They may lose interest in hobbies they once enjoyed or become reluctant to socialise. Others experience mood swings, frustration or increased distress, particularly if they are finding everyday tasks confusing or overwhelming.

Some people living with dementia may also begin using inappropriate language, become unusually irritable or react aggressively in situations where they previously would not have done so. 

While these changes can be upsetting for family members, it’s important to remember that they are symptoms of changes happening in the brain rather than deliberate behaviour. Responding with patience and understanding can often help reduce anxiety for everyone involved.

Trust your instincts

Family members are often the first to notice that something doesn’t seem quite right. Even if each individual change appears small, a pattern of gradual changes over time may indicate that your loved one could benefit from additional support.

If you find yourself becoming increasingly worried about their safety, wellbeing or ability to manage everyday activities, it’s worth taking those concerns seriously. Seeking advice early can help prevent small challenges from becoming larger problems later on.

Starting the conversation

Talking to someone about accepting help can be one of the most difficult steps, particularly if they value their independence. Choosing a calm moment and approaching the conversation with empathy, sensitivity and without confrontation can make all the difference.

A good place to start is by asking how they are feeling and whether there is anything they are finding more difficult than usual. Offering practical support in the first instance, such as helping with shopping, preparing meals or doing housework, may feel less overwhelming and be easier for them to accept.

It’s also important to remember that these conversations rarely happen just once. Giving someone time to reflect and revisiting the subject gently over time can help them feel more comfortable with the idea of accepting support when they are ready.

Where to find support

If you’re concerned about an older loved one, speaking to your GP is a good place to start. They can assess any underlying health issues and signpost you to local services, charities and community organisations that offer practical advice and support for older people and their families.

Many Care UK homes also host regular community events designed to provide information, reassurance and opportunities to connect with others. These include later life planning sessions, dementia cafés and Fish & Chip Fridays, creating welcoming spaces where families can ask questions, share experiences and learn more about ageing well.

For those in the Harrogate area, Care UK’s Harcourt Gardens also runs a programme of free events throughout the year, offering practical advice from experts alongside opportunities to meet others in a warm and supportive environment.

Upcoming free events at Harcourt Gardens

Wills and Powers of Attorney: Thursday, October 29, 2pm - 4pm

Listen to legal expert Elaine Lightfoot, from McCormick Solicitors, explain the importance of wills and having a Power of Attorney in place for your loved one.

Gentlemen’s club: First Tuesday of the month, 2.30pm - 4pm

Join us for an afternoon of social activities, including card games, camaraderie and good old-fashioned banter.

This is also a perfect opportunity for you to take a tour around the home, meet our friendly team and explore the lifestyle that we have at our home.

Community cinema: Every third Tuesday of the month, 10am - 12 noon

Join us at our free community cinema club which is open to anyone who enjoys classic, ‘feel good’ films. In the comfort of our home’s cinema you can enjoy a movie and complimentary refreshments, while also meeting our friendly team.

Interested in finding out more or visiting?

To find out more about Harcourt Gardens, call 01423 594 744 or email alexandra.clarke@careuk.com, or visit the website.

Harcourt Gardens, Harcourt Road, Harrogate, HG1 5NL.