Two Harrogate parents are uniting to help children navigate the challenges of the modern world.

But rather than speak to the children themselves, Alison Stubbs and Andrea Edmondson are focusing their efforts on the parents.

They established ParentSmart Learning based on their belief that giving parents the tools to deal with their children’s behaviour would deliver the most benefit to families.

Both women have dealt with challenges in their own children, including dyslexia and autism, as well as being trained teachers.

Alison, who is a primary school teacher, said:

“I’ve got two children who are dyslexic.

“As a teacher, I felt the school system was trying to get children like mine to do things they can’t.

“I was thinking, ‘my child is going to school every day, failing, and then on sports day, when they could do well, they aren’t allowed to win because it’s not competitive.

“‘How can we empower these children to feel better about themselves, and the parents too?'”

Alison considered doing a cognitive behavioural therapy course to enable children to feel more empowered in dealing with challenges they faced. However, she said:

“I quickly realised you’ve got to empower the parent because they can empower the children.”

Meanwhile, fellow teacher Andrea experienced her own difficulties when raising her four children in the United States. She said:

“Even though I had all the training, things weren’t always easy. I felt lonely and confused and I didn’t know what to do.”

Andrea decided to undertake research and training in child development, focusing on how children deal with stress and how they can be helped to live with it more easily in the modern world, before moving back to the UK.

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A chance conversation between Andrea and Alison at a friend’s house in 2021 led the pair to realise they had similar views and aims.

After sharing their own experiences and ideas, they begin looking at ways to give parents more confidence in supporting their children.

They tested some of their theories with communities around the Harrogate district, running monthly workshops in a room they were given free at the Pickled Sprout restaurant in the Yorkshire Hotel.

After receiving “excellent” feedback from the participants, Alison and Andrea began working on pilot projects with schools.

However, with budgets already stretched, the pair found many schools were unable to commit to paying for help – even when it might reduce many of the challenges they faced in the classroom.

They said even “very intelligent, caring parents” often struggle to know how to handle their children’s behaviour at home, leading to more issues being brought into schools.

The covid pandemic exacerbated this, with many children missing out on key periods of social development and not having been supported to catch up since.

Andrea said:

“One of the biggest things is the people raising children now were raised in a very different time than we’re now in. The ways people were raised don’t align to the environment we now operate in: 24/7 media, screens, a lot of bad food, a lot of time inside.

“There’s a mismatch between the biology of kids and the environment, and then the skills and understanding of the parents.

“When you’re under stress, you revert to script and the script was developed when you were young.”

Outside perspective

The pair have developed a short online course, Confused to Confident, to help parents develop a better understanding of their children’s behaviour and its causes, as well as ways to respond that will restore calm.

They said the course is suitable for parents whose children are any age, from pre-school through to adult. The parents may be dealing with conflict with their children, concerned about their mental health or potential neurodiversity, preparing for school transitions or exams, or simply wanting to feel more confident in their parenting strategies.

ParentSmart Learning is also partnering with community organisations and businesses to deliver workshops and courses

Alison said modern, busy lives often leave people without opportunities to share their concerns and get advice from other parents. The course is designed to fill that gap, with expertise and distance.

She added:

“You get bogged down and dragged in with your own child and you’ve got to take a step back and not be reactive.

“Sometimes, you need someone to help you process something – that outside perspective to help us take a step back.”