Straight Talk: Life lessons from not getting the A level grades I wanted

This opinion column is written by Marilyn Stowe. Marilyn built the largest family law firm in the UK, which she ran from Harrogate. She sold her firm in 2017 to private equity left the law and is now a writer and speaker.

A level results are out. Across Harrogate and surrounding districts there are a high number of  triumphant students. Hats off to them after two nightmare years. However, that might not be the case for every student, not accepted to their university or chosen course, wondering what to do next.

Do not despair! I doubt any student received the curt message I did from my sixth form tutor: “What are you going to do now?”

With poor results I lost my place to read law. It was my own fault. Why work hard? I was always a high achiever without much effort. On this occasion, I learned with a terrible shock. Hard work was required.

I finally obtained a place to read law by the skin of my teeth, at Leeds University, but to start a year later. I gratefully accepted the offer determined never to fail again.

I spent the year working at Boots in Leeds to earn some money, learning to type at night school and then working for my uncle, a criminal law specialist solicitor in Leeds.

I had my eyes opened to a world I had no idea existed. I typed letters to clients, and answered the phone, chatting to clients charged with offences that blew my mind, I went to prisons and met murderers and burglars, rapists and thieves. I met men and women with no chance in life from the get go. I spent a day listening to a woman on remand in prison, who described how she had murdered her baby in temper, repeatedly throwing it against the bedroom ceiling, as it went blind and slowly died. As she spoke, insects fell out of her long unkempt hair on a table between us.

I also assisted clients buying and selling houses, and even (under supervision) drafted their wills.

In a solicitor’s office I saw life in the raw and, as tough as it was, I loved it.

By the time I started university, I had a head start on the green students straight from school who had no idea what might be facing them once outside the cocoon called university. I knew I had found my future career and determined there would be no further slip ups. I flogged myself, then I went to law school to study for my finals, followed by a two year training contract with a solicitor specialising in corporate work, and finally I qualified. On my first day, proud as punch, I learned another hard lesson: no amount of studying can ever beat experience.

I was sent by a junior partner to apply for bail in a criminal case he knew he would lose and I was expendable. I had no clue what to say in front of a packed court of experienced criminal lawyers. All I could do was stand up, say in a terrified voice, “I am instructed to apply for bail” then sit down again, puce with embarrassment. Did it put me off? Short term it did. But law was my hard earned career and nothing was going to stop me. A couple of years later I found my own niche working in family law and never looked back. The stress never stopped but overall my career in law was worth the initial failure, embarrassment and sheer hard work.

So, if you have come up against a road block take heart.  With enough determination you will always get there. Some of my colleagues never went to university and worked in law firms, studying part time. They too made it. Arguably they had the advantage. It was cheaper and they had experience of what they were reading about.


Read More: 


 

Straight Talk: Masks? Compulsory vaccination? Unison’s approach seems contradictory

This opinion column is written by Marilyn Stowe. Marilyn built the largest family law firm in the UK, which she ran from Harrogate. She sold her firm in 2017 to private equity left the law and is now a writer and speaker.

‘Now isn’t the time to ditch mask wearing’ solemnly intoned Christine McAnea, this week. She is General Secretary of Unison, the UK’s largest Union, which provides public services in the NHS. Unison is clearly unhappy with the lifting next week of emergency legal requirements imposed on the population during the pandemic.

She slammed the Prime Minister for ‘side stepping the responsibility that comes with Government’ and added ‘Talk of personal responsibility could see NHS and care staff put in impossible, potentially abusive, situations. They’ll be the ones left to ensure people continue to mask up.’

Are you for or against mask wearing after next week? I loathe them, and blame the damn things for a nasty chest infection I suffered recently, after attending a four hour meeting in a stuffy set of offices, all the time wearing a mask. I developed a cough, took a couple of covid tests both of which were negative, but interestingly when I went to my (reopened) hair dresser, several of the customers had the same non Covid cough, all of them blaming their masks. Whether breathing in and out, your own CO2 for four hours is the cause or not, I find it hard to believe that a non medical mask, a piece of paper or bit of cloth is going to protect someone else from me or me from them of an easily spread viral respiratory disease. Just over a year ago world science said it wouldn’t and there is still no consensus as to its overall efficacy.  I’m pleased though the decision is now up to me, and I will wear the mask as required even though I loathe it and regard it largely as a placebo for others.

Unlike vaccines. They’re in a demonstrable world class success league, as numbers of deaths have dropped globally post vaccination. I’ve nevertheless got friends who refuse to have it and as it’s their choice and their life, presumably they feel lucky. I do believe in their freedom to choose, but always balanced against the right to impose restrictions in the interests of the general public on the non vaccinated. Thus various countries are refusing to admit non vaccinated travellers and, in my view, they are entitled to do so in the interests of their own citizens.

This week in Parliament, MPs also voted to mandate that from October it will be a legal requirement for all staff in CQC registered care homes to be double vaccinated. One of the worst aspects of the pandemic has been its impact on residents in care homes, sitting ducks, thousands dying alone in an unstoppable rampage unable to say goodbye to their own families. It seems a must, that our loved ones are protected to the hilt as this pandemic is far from over, as even double vaccinated, there is no guarantee of immunity from the disease. Care homes must do their best. So staff must now choose to be vaccinated or reassigned elsewhere. If they do not wish to be vaccinated and I understand their right to choose, they must not impose a risk in care homes.

Harrogate district’s three conservative MP’s voted in favour of the mandatory requirement,  but they were slammed again by Unison, who you might think would be overjoyed with the decision given their criticism of the government over masks. Not a bit of it. They tweeted after the vote:

‘ Concerning that conservative MPs in our area voted to allow the state to mandate vaccination.

“We encourage all our members to get vaccinated, but making it law is not the way a liberal democracy should operate’

That’s politics for you.


Read More: 

 


 

Straight Talk: Refusing Grantley Hall a helipad is petty

This opinion column is written by Marilyn Stowe. Marilyn built the largest family law firm in the UK, which she ran from Harrogate. She sold her firm in 2017 to private equity left the law and is now a writer and speaker.

Have you ever travelled by helicopter? Chances are you haven’t, me neither. For world leaders staying in Cornwall it was de rigueur even if HM Queen preferred the train home to Windsor in the middle of the night. Good for her. But then she can and I don’t begrudge her choice of travel.

For a number of high rollers, big spenders into the bargain, travel by helicopter is their preference and good on them too. If they can afford it and spend big bucks wherever they land, why not?

I can’t say this area seems to be plagued by helicopters, and nor is it likely in the future. But a potential refusal by Harrogate Borough Council of a helipad to Grantley Hall in Ripon, recently caught my eye.

We are almost out of the pandemic and we have to start to count the cost. The decimation of our hospitality and entertainment industry with shopping hit hardest across our towns and cities should now be at the forefront of our minds. The final bill to our economy which our young who will be paying for the rest of the their lives is too high to compute.

I would have thought any local council with gumption would be up for the challenge to their own town and surrounding areas to help everyone who now needs it. In reality this means bringing in the spenders, focusing on their needs and strongly competing for a share of what many were able to save during the last 18 months especially amongst the super rich, whose wealth increased.

In our area, it includes supporting those who have invested their own untold wealth developing a magnificent world class hotel at Grantley Hall, creating jobs and infrastructure for the area, during their own time of need.

Yet in Harrogate and its borough, the council seems to be on a war path against any method of travel except on foot, bicycle and bus. It’s shown a dogged determination to close roads around the Stray to encourage walking from school, even if it means hazardously backing up traffic along adjoining roads. And kept ghastly wooden crates in situ to reduce parking in James Street although the shops are fully open. It wants to do away with parking spaces along busy streets, causing mass inconvenience for swathes of shoppers. And it plans to remove entire lanes of traffic and generally make congestion in Harrogate worse. And it was also recommending to refuse Grantley Hall the right to a helipad. Why? It seemed so incredibly petty.

I’ve read the arguments about preservation of peace and tranquillity of the area, the importance of the natural beauty in the area –. the same arguments that pertain to competing luxury hotel properties situate within every one of the most important beauty spots across the country, and yet those hotels all have their helipads. I suspect none have turned into mini airports, rather they are a convenience for the rare numbers of the super rich when they are deciding where to spend their money in an increasingly competitive market.

The hotel has subsequently withdrawn its application. I don’t know why it did this but the council wasn’t going to make it easy for them.  Couldn’t it have acknowledged what Grantley Hall has brought to the area and offered a helping hand to maintain its competitive edge? Of course it could have. It could have suggested a compromise- to try it for 12months and see how it works..

What a shame it is that the ultimate fate of so many is in the hands of an implacable few.

If anything symbolises how utterly hamstrung in dogma the council has become, isn’t it their persistence with those wooden crates?

 


Read More: 


 

Straight Talk: It’s time for good old fashioned Yorkshire common sense

This opinion column is written by Marilyn Stowe. Marilyn built the largest family law firm in the UK, which she ran from Harrogate. She sold her firm in 2017 to private equity left the law and is now a writer and speaker.

Do you remember ‘The Good Old Days’ of your childhood?  I grimace when I recall those all weather days when our mum walked two of us to our primary school, walked home again, the third along for the ride in his push chair. Then they would return to collect us and walk us home.

We weren’t near a bus route. When mum took us shopping, all three aged under 6, we walked to the bus stop, jumping with excitement as the bus arrived, demanding to sit upstairs regardless of the baby and the push chair. It was the same going home, waiting for the bus, my mum managing us, a baby and a shopping bag, then walking again. Come rain or shine, fog or snow, that was the reality of the ‘Good Old Days.’ I remember my mum bursting into tears when my dad surprised her with a little car in the 1970s and the strain was relieved.

So why the desire of some, to inflict this backward step on so many others? The three local authorities handling the controversial Harrogate Station Gateway scheme have highly ambitious and I doubt achievable  ‘green’ plans;- a 2000% increase in cycling trips, (yes, you read that correctly) 78% increase in walking trips and 39% increase in bus trips. They ominously intend  ‘to ensure that the infrastructure is in place to enable people to make walking, cycling or public transport their first choice for journeys.’ And to deliver their aim, Harrogate now has just shy of £8m of government funds to spend, with more cycle lanes, removal of trees and at least 45 parking spaces and parking permits, probably far higher with implementation of road closures and the imposition of controversial one way systems and rerouting.

Beech Grove is ‘experimentally closed’ at the back of the Stray. In Cold Bath Road, traffic now backs up alongside the parked cars, mothers, children and buses. It is acknowledged that there will be far more traffic delays across Central Harrogate. More traffic congestion has all the potential for increase in road traffic accidents and hardly beneficial for clean air.

Not everyone though is in favour of this draconian approach and that looks like an understatement. Only 1100 of the 75,000 Harrogate residents responded to an online survey, of which 40+ % backed the scheme in part. Hardly a ringing endorsement by a large majority. With thousands of livelihoods on the line post pandemic, fearful business owners and residents, are vocally fighting back, whilst also working hard to attract new business nationally to Harrogate.

So given the risk at stake, why not compromise? It is still possible to effect a fair balance of all perceived needs and perceived harms, rather than a bitterly opposed scheme at the end of a terrible trading year. Everyone has a legal right to exercise their own choice of transport in our still democratic society not just a few. You may enjoy a bike ride or a bus journey. Others prefer the comfort of their own cars. There should be consideration for all.

The fake grass scheme is an example of an ill thought out imposition on Harrogate, a complete waste of money. This is far worse. Disregarding the rights of the majority is not good governance as parts of the South of England are making clear with similar schemes quietly imposed in the last year.

There is all the potential for an £8m disaster with the very heart of Harrogate at stake, unless compromise and Yorkshire common sense prevails.


Read More: 


 

Marilyn Stowe: They’ve made a dog’s breakfast of cycle lanes in Leeds

This opinion column is written by Marilyn Stowe. Marilyn built the largest family law firm in the UK, which she ran from Harrogate. She sold her firm in 2017 to private equity left the law and is now a writer and speaker.

Moving my law firm to The Old Courthouse on Raglan Street Harrogate in 2004,  I ventured into new territory. It happened as a result of being thrown onto the pavement and robbed by three masked men on a dark evening in December as I was leaving my East Leeds office. One was screaming ‘kick her head in’ as he held an iron bar over my head. Traumatised and concerned it could happen to clients and staff, the decision was made overnight to close and reopen elsewhere.

What a godsend the Old Courthouse proved to be. Within a few years, we were unusually mentioned in a court report about the increase in work we had introduced to the Harrogate County Court, situated in the next street.

Our beautiful Victorian building was a draw in itself, but so was the parking it provided. We could comfortably park 14 cars, and for several of our clients who required absolute privacy, they could park and enter by a back door, no-one the wiser. For others, as our firm grew, on street parking was a boon. It was so convenient.

Visitors to the office could easily slip in and out. And as we grew, many of our competitors also decided Harrogate was the place to be. It’s no coincidence there are so many family law firms in Harrogate. But I thought, if our model worked in Leeds and in Harrogate, it might work elsewhere – and thus, staying ahead of the competition, I grew a local family law firm to the largest in the country, which I sold in 2017.

Thanks Harrogate.

But let me repay the favour, as I still remain ‘the landlady’ at The Old Courthouse. Rumour has it that bicycles, not cars, are now ‘de rigeur’ and the days of cars, even green and electric as they soon will be, are numbered in Harrogate. ‘Don’t bring your car into Harrogate, or car share if you must’ we are told. ‘Catch the bus, or cycle in.’

It’s woke madness.

In Leeds the local council, having spent millions on empty cycle lanes, recently turned Leeds centre into a dog’s breakfast. Full speed ahead if you happen to be a cyclist. It’s a nightmare to manoeuvre. Are there really that many cyclists around? How many out of town shoppers or workers are going to voluntarily struggle with flimsy bikes, punctures, cycle baskets, risk terrible accidents, or park/ride in a bus with our relentless weather? Or pay for daily expensive parking? Why on earth would they?

Leeds has unwittingly created the perfect opportunity for the entire Harrogate economy to take advantage and boom. It’s as easy to turn towards Harrogate than Leeds Centre and still be welcomed with open arms.

If not, it will happen to Harrogate too. People going to shop, seek professional advice, eat out, don’t do it en masse by bus, or worse, by bike. Bikes are for those lucky to live nearby and/or hardy enough to relish the distance, the hills and cold wind into Harrogate.

So let’s take advantage of the clueless elsewhere, who have never had their own skin in the game, and run their own businesses.

Let’s support the motorist and support the entire Harrogate economy.


Read More: 


 

Column: The shops in Harrogate should be opening now

This opinion column is written by Marilyn Stowe. Marilyn built the largest family law firm in the UK which she ran from Harrogate. She sold her firm in 2017 to private equity left the law and is now a writer and speaker.

How sad is Harrogate right now? Long gone are those days of my glorious morning commute to Harrogate, stunning views of the Harewood Estate and the Yorkshire Dales in the distance, on the one side and on a clear day, even the Kilburn White Horse on the other, accompanying me en route, until I finally sped up the hill into a town already active at 7.30am, busy with folk walking purposefully to work on the Stray.

I used to turn right at James Street to check out the shops, in case something caught my eye for a spot of lunchtime shopping and finally it was second right, into Raglan Street, to my office filled with colourful flowers outside, so pretty we regularly entered the Harrogate in Bloom competition and did quite well.

I was lucky working in the gorgeous Old Court House. Newly qualified, I had nervously appeared there, pre its refurbishment, before crusty magistrates. My own office, up the imposing stone stairs faced out onto the park. It used to be the solicitors’ waiting room where I paced about practising what to say.

What a difference 30 years can make! “She’s always dressed in terrifying black ” a client’s husband once said of me after one meeting he left sweating, and I laughed because I dressed in black, precisely for that reason. When I finally left work in 2017, out went entire wardrobes of black and oh what a joy that was.

For the last year though, I’ve dressed in drab dark navy. Sweater, shirt, loose pants, gilet – all navy blue. When this damn thing is over, they will all get thrown in the bin and my mood will improve. Meanwhile I’ve got used to sitting on a bench outside Starbucks shoving a paper mask in my handbag to drink a skinny flat white in the drizzle, mask on again to shop in Marks and Spencer – and let’s not forget Boots. For a bit of comfort Hotel Chocolat is open too. Even so, Harrogate is empty. Soulless. Locked down just like us.

This isn’t the Harrogate I love. It’s not the joyous Harrogate of my Granny’s Edwardian era when she reminisced how she and her own grandmother used to holiday here to take the waters and watch a show.Today, horribly, many empty shops in town will never reopen.

So why cant we try and save as many as we can – now?

Why are some shops and offices trading well, taking advantage and not the rest? Why can’t we get a hair cut? Why can’t we at least sit outside in cafes and enjoy ourselves? With half the population vaccinated, and if vaccination is working as well as they tell us, then why not?

Harrogate urgently needs to be released from captivity, it will take years to recover. No wonder I’m dressed in dreary navy blue to sit on a street bench. When freedom finally comes, watch out for the Woman in Red.

That will be me.


Read More: