A man from Bilton who battled undiagnosed Post-traumatic stress disorder for six years says the government is failing young people with mental health issues due to a lack of funding.
Ben Rothery, 22, said his mental health first began to suffer as a teenager when he struggled to come to terms with his sexuality and was bullied by other children.
He also developed a problematic relationship with food and his weight increased to 18 stone.
The bullying led to a suicide attempt aged 16 and further traumatic events at university increased his suffering. Despite seeking help through the NHS several times, they were unable to diagnose what was wrong with him.
He said in one year, he told at least 10 people within the NHS about the same traumatic experiences.
He said:
“I shut everything positive out of my life. I didn’t know what was going on.”
Huge waiting lists
After his suicide attempt six years ago, he was first referred by his GP to CAMHS, an NHS service for young people with mental health problems.
Mr Rothery said the waiting list was “huge” but he was offered regular sessions for a year.
He was one of the lucky ones, with reports of some young people waiting up to two years for sessions.
Whilst helpful, he said CAMHS was unable to diagnose him with any mental health condition, which left him confused.
Things began to improve at school, and after coming out as gay during his school’s 6th form prom, his confidence improved. He went to university in York to train to be a teacher and his future looked bright.
He said:
“It was the happiest I’d ever been. I finally looked in mirror and that was who I wanted to be.”
But whilst at university, his mental health began to suffer again. He starved himself and lost six stone in just two months.
He then suffered a painful fallout with people he thought were friends and faced more bullying.
He bought a pride flag that he hoped to take to his first Harrogate Pride event. However, somebody went into his bedroom, urinated on it and posted a video all over social media. He said he then “isolated himself completely”.
Retreating into own world
When the first covid lockdown happened in March 2020, Mr Rothery said “the world stopped when I needed it to stop”.
He dropped out of university with thousands of pounds worth of debt, moved back home to Harrogate with his family, and retreated into his own world.
He said the experience at university was traumatic and he didn’t feel like he could talk about it.
“People said, ‘it’s just drama’ but it really affected me. It was like being so high up, feeling like you made it in life, then plummeting straight back down. I was lower than when I tried to commit suicide at 16″.
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Seeking help
In early 2021, Mr Rothery decided to seek help again. His GP referred him to IAPT, an NHS talking therapy service.
But he was offered just three hours of CBT treatment and it didn’t address his problems. He was still desperately seeking a diagnosis and an answer to why he was feeling so bad.
He said:
“I thought I had anxiety that had spiralled out of control. I had looked into PTSD, but I thought only people who had suffered really extreme things, like soldiers or victims of sexual assault had that.
“I felt like I hadn’t been listened to. Everybody I spoke to didn’t understand my problems.”
He said he carried on struggling until late last year when he had a “complete meltdown” and contemplated suicide again.
“I sat sobbing in my bedroom. I thought, I don’t want to leave my mum and dad. I saw how my previous suicide attempt made them feel. But I just thought, I don’t want to wake up.”
Next therapist
With his mental health problems now at an all-time low, he visited his GP again.
The doctor presented him with two options: go back to IAPT again or take medication. But he didn’t want to rely on chemicals to feel better.
Fortunately, his dad, who is a painter and decorator, had a customer in Harrogate who is a trained therapist. A deal was agreed where he would do work for her in return for offering sessions for Ben.
Private therapy sessions usually start at least £50 an hour, out of reach for most young people in Harrogate on lower salaries, so the offer changed his life.
He said it was the first time somebody had listened and told him what was wrong with him: PTSD brought on by the traumatic events of his teenage years and at university.
“That was the first time somebody told me what was wrong with me.
“It’s like a filing cabinet that has been thrown over and reorganising. It was the first time I’d felt listened to. I felt like I’d achieved something. For six years since 16 I’d been trying to get support but nobody seemed to know what to do.”
Doing better now
Mr Rothery says since the private therapy sessions finished he is doing much better. He has a fulfilling job and a good support network including his mum and dad.
But he fears that there are countless other people in Harrogate who are suffering with poor mental health in silence —and they are unable to afford expensive private therapy sessions that could make all the difference.
A report published in May by Harrogate-based Healthwatch North Yorkshire found that 72% of young people said they had experienced mental health or well-being issues in the past year.
Mr Rothery said:
“The biggest frustration for me is that anybody who didn’t have a support system at home like me would not have survived as long as I did. It crossed my mind that i could stop it all with one solution, but I’d be giving up. If i was to commit suicide, I’d give up all this fight.”
He added:
“If everybody tried to get help and came forward to their GPs, maybe more would be done.”
