This article is sponsored by Harrogate Family Law.

Coercive control is a form of domestic abuse in which a person attempts to exert an unreasonable, oppressive amount of control over their partner’s life.

Harrogate Family Law are specialists in this area and they are helping a growing number to resolve the difficult situation.

Abuse does not have to be physical or sexual to be an offence. Coercive control can include emotional and psychological abuse and can be very subtle, so is harder to identify.

By its very nature, coercive control can instil confusion and self-doubt in the victim, but Harrogate Family Law can help you be clear about what is taking place and prepare a safe route out of the situation for you and your family.

Andrew Meehan, director of Harrogate Family Law, said:

“We are getting clients from all over the country who are married to a controlling, narcissistic spouse. They have often been controlled financially and emotionally and have been kept in the dark about money. They often don’t have a clear picture of how much things cost and how they can afford to pay for things.

“We can offer advice and help them to move forward with a secure financial future.”

What are the signs of coercive control?

There are clear indications that the relationship you are in has spiralled towards coercive control, even if you have received no physical harm and the relationship is not necessarily “toxic”.

Coercive control happens when:

• You are isolated from your support system, i.e. family and friends
• Your activity is being monitored all day everyday – known as invasive surveillance
• Your freedom and autonomy is being denied – such as access to money or health and body freedom
• You are subjected to name-calling, shaming or criticism
• Your children are being turned against you, known as parental alienation
• You are subjected to jealous accusations

Mr Meehan has offered his three top tips on what to do if you think you are a victim of coercive control.

You are not alone

“There are a lot of people in the same situation. They are often conditioned to think there is no way out for them and they are effectively trapped.

“But their situation is something we see a lot of and something we can sort out for them. The situation is not hopeless.”

Get legal advice early 

“We have a niche in dealing with people who have been controlled by spouses or those who are married to a narcissist. We have got clients from all over the country and overseas looking for our expertise.

“Speak to a solicitor who understands how to deal with these kinds of people.”

Everyone’s situation is different

“Try to come to your first meeting as prepared as possible so that the advice we give can be as tailored to your circumstances as much as possible.

“This is difficult if your finances are being controlled. However, have a think about what you do know and we can take things from there. We can then be prepared to deal with what is most important to you.”

For a confidential chat with one of Harrogate Family Law’s expert solicitors regarding coercive control, call 01423 594 680 or email enquiries@harrogatefamilylaw.co.uk

A Harrogate lawyer has issued legal advice to companies wrestling with the thorny issue of whether to give staff time off to watch the World Cup.

Football fever is building after England’s 6-2 opening match defeat of Iran on Monday.

Many games are taking place during UK office hours, prompting firms to consider the best way to handle the situation.

James Austin, a partner and employment law specialist at LCF Law in Harrogate, said many firms wanted to be flexible to foster goodwill but “some staff may feign illness or try to book holidays”.

He said it was sensible for companies to inform staff what is allowed and what is expected, adding:

“It’s important to remember that normal holiday rules apply, but businesses may want to relax the rules if they think they will be quieter during certain matches. It could also be a nice way to reward employees who will be grateful and give even more back to the business in return.”

Read more:

• Business Breakfast: Harrogate law firm appoints two managers
• Plea for Harrogate hospital visitors to wear masks after people refuse to follow guidance

Mr Austin said no business had to let staff watch matches but if they allowed them to do so at work they “must check that the required license is in place and carry out a risk assessment”, adding:

“Employees of different nationalities must be treated equally as allowing England fans to watch England games but not allowing Welsh fans to watch Welsh games, for example, could lead to claims of discrimination.

“Employees should be reminded that they are still at work, so are expected to behave professionally and that derogatory comments about different nationalities, or sexist or racist remarks will not be tolerated and may result in disciplinary action.

“Employers should also carefully consider whether to allow alcohol to be drunk during matches viewed in the workplace and bear in mind the problems this may cause.”

Sick leave and working from home

Mr Austin warned companies to be wary of taking action against staff who phone in sick. He said:

“Whilst managers may have their suspicions about an employee being sick on certain match days, whether any action can be taken will depend on any evidence that they were not truly sick.

He added holding back to work interviews, for all sickness absence, can help deter people from feigning sickness.

He also cautioned firms against being heavy-handed against staff working from home who they suspect are tuned into matches.

“If a business chooses to monitor work output via technology and monitoring system logins, they will need to comply with data protection rules including GDPR. This will involve informing staff in advance of what they intend to do and why, as well as how long they will retain any information.

“An alternative approach could be for managers to send a reminder that watching football during working hours is not acceptable and may result in disciplinary action.”

Laura’s Law is a monthly legal column, written by family lawyer, Laura Mounsey. Laura is a partner at Harrogate Family Law. She specialises in dealing with divorced couples and people who have been in abusive relationships. Her role involves protecting her clients’ assets and income if they want to live with someone or get married and resolving disagreements about children.

This week Laura advises on what to do if your ex is weaponising your children.

If you are in the process of separating (or thinking about doing so), you may be terrified about losing your children. You may be worried that your ex will be so intent on ‘revenge’, that they will try to weaponise your children against you.

Typically, by the time that people ask for my help, they tell me that their:

1. Children’s opinion of them has become very negative
2. Children are acting out against them and rejecting them
3. Ex keeps taking their children away from them
4. Ex has made all sorts of allegations about them as a parent

It isn’t uncommon for children to struggle with their parents’ separation. However, sometimes your ex may throw your children into the middle of a conflict by manipulating their view of you and burdening them by having to ‘choose a side’. Being bombarded with such responsibility and pressure can cause them significant distress.

Read More: 

• Laura’s Law: Laura discusses the signs you could be married to a narcissist
• Huge demand for Xmas attractions in Harrogate district as bookings open

It is not fair for your ex to try to damage your children’s relationship with you. However, it can and does happen. It’s likely to get worse the longer you leave it. Sadly, I have seen an increase in this behaviour during the pandemic lockdown. Particularly where children have been withheld from seeing one of their parents.

Often, if you approach your ex on your own and challenge them about the way that they are treating your children, they will deny it. This often backfires and allows your ex to spin your concerns against you, as if you are in the wrong. This can leave you feeling trapped without a way out.

Does this sound familiar?

When you separate, your children need you both more than ever and that should be a priority. However, your ex may see your children as a way to get what they want, regardless of what damage they may cause getting there.

It isn’t impossible to deal with your ex’s behaviour however it is time critical because the more you delay, the more damage may be done. To disarm your ex, for your children’s sake as well as your own, it is vital that you reach out.

You should also consider:

1. Telling your ex in writing about your concerns and set out why
2. Keeping a log of what has been happening
3. Asking for professional support for you and/or the children

This is particularly important, now that we are in another lockdown. Even though we cannot meet in person for now, you can still reach out and get help. The court is also still open, so you are not alone.

To find out more about Laura and her speciality in family law, click here.

This legal column is written by family lawyer, Laura Mounsey. Laura is a partner at Harrogate Family Law. She specialises in dealing with divorced couples and people who have been in abusive relationships. Her role involves protecting her clients’ assets and income if they want to live with someone or get married and resolving disagreements about children. In this column, she discusses the red flags to look out for that indicate you may be married to a narcissist and how to get out.

I have experienced the trauma of divorcing a narcissist first-hand. I am now a lawyer who specialises in helping people who are terrified of standing up to them.

Typically, I find that many of my clients have been conditioned to think that they have no self-worth. They have been controlled and bullied for years. They believe that any wrongdoing is their fault and that they do not deserve any better. The idea of saying “enough is enough” paralyses them with fear; so worn down, they feel trapped with no way out.

Over time, I have heard many people who sit in front of me say that their ex is:

• Controlling

They tell them what to do and what not to do. They are scolded for “stepping out of line”. However, the rules always change, and they never win. Instead, they live their lives walking on eggshells.

• Arrogant

They think they are superior and expect that others cater to, and admire, them. Even though they have inflated self-esteem, beneath it, hides crippling insecurities which cause them to lash out.

• Vain

They are obsessed with what other people think about them. They will put others down to make themselves seem better than they are. They are obsessed with attention and will often play the victim if needed.

• Manipulative

They will often lie and pin people against each other. They will isolate people and are prepared to do anything to get what they want. Often, they undermine others around them so much that they start to question their own judgement, not their ex.

Does this ring any alarm bells?

Leaving a narcissist is daunting. A client once told me that her ex would do everything in his power to destroy her so that she ended up in a shoe box on the Stray with nothing but her children.

But she held her nerve and took the plunge, broke free and now has a very comfortable life that is all hers.

If, like her, you know deep down that you need to leave but you do not know what to do, the best thing that you can do is get specialist advice from a divorce lawyer who knows what you are dealing with.

Read More: 

• Police in North Yorkshire warn about rise in “romance fraud” 
• Huge demand for Xmas attractions in Harrogate district as bookings open

This article is written for the Stray Ferret by Harrogate employment lawyer Richard Port. Richard is Principal Solicitor and Founding Director at Boardside legal. Over the next 3 weeks he will explore the issues raised for employers and employees returning to work post furlough. This article is not legal advice – more a look at the complexities of the current situation. 

Recent government announcements have suggested that the current furlough guidance might shortly be changed and that those who can go back to work safely should now do so. It is worth noting that it is currently a criminal offence for a person to go to work, when such work can reasonably be done from home.

However, if the changes are made, I’m sure that many people will want to return to work straightaway, but there will be many who do not. Indeed, I have dealt with a number of company clients in the last few weeks who are having to grapple with the conflict between ending furlough and dealing with reluctant returners: in my case a food production business (ABC Ltd) and the reluctant ‘Fred’.

First and foremost, the place of work needs to be covid safe, to reduce the potential for transmission as much as possible. This means providing adequate PPE and having a robust hygiene system in place, and compliance with social distancing rules.

Imagine that ABC Ltd has done it all; it is the paragon of compliance and hygiene. Nonetheless, despite his employer being an essential service, Fred is reluctant: he is worried, claiming that he has a ‘new’ medical condition (understood to be asthma) for which he must take steroids. Fred considers himself to be clinically vulnerable, though he does not have any form of medical certificate signing him off work. ABC Ltd has kept in touch with Fred during furlough and is now asking him to return to work. Sometimes getting hold of Fred has been quite difficult, despite being “house-bound”. We understand that Fred enjoys his golf.

Of course, there will be a wide variety of reasons (supported by various legal protections) why employees may be reluctant to return to work which should be taken seriously. In other cases, like Fred, employees may have no good reason for refusing. Leaving this aside, what options does ABC Ltd have in relation to Fred? As difficult as it might be, ABC Ltd needs to tread carefully. Employers should work on a case-by-case basis and ensure that they have carried out thorough risk assessments and implemented relevant covid safety measures.

Ultimately, ABC Ltd may seek to stop paying Fred in the circumstances, or even to dismiss him, but both of these courses of action for refusing to return to work are fraught with danger and could lead to employment tribunal claims being raised, particularly if the employer’s health and safety processes are short of what is reasonably practical to put in place.

It is a complicated subject, but my experience is that many organisations are now reviewing their working practices and looking at ways to create a more adaptive, innovative and resilient workforce. If ABC Ltd gets this right, it will ensure its long-term viability and the health and well-being of its workforce, with better morale and higher productivity.

Next week, Richard looks at the rights of the employee and looks at the case of Fred.

Law firms across the Harrogate district are collaborating in an unprecedented way in order to meet changing demands during the coronavirus crisis.

Harrogate and District Law Society has reported a rise in demand for wills and powers of attorney, as people see the worrying news of more deaths each day.

Solicitors are also trying to keep routine work moving during the crisis, including dealing with emergency applications to family courts and processing house purchases.

Georgina Parkin, president of The Harrogate and District Law Society and managing director of Truth Legal Solicitors, said: “Over the years, lawyers in this area have always collaborated.

“During these unprecedented times, I am pleased to report that lawyers are collaborating to far higher level than I have known, all in the best interests of their clients. Once coronavirus is defeated, my hope – and my expectation – is that this collegiate attitude will continue.”

As the coronavirus has unfolded, lawyers have been sharing useful updates, such as changing court opening hours or ways of working, including hearings using video conferencing software.

On behalf of the society, Ms Parkin thanked staff and judges at Harrogate Justice Centre, which is continuing to deal with cases, as well as to police, prison officers, social workers, and postal and delivery staff who are keeping the process of justice going. Meanwhile, a litigation trial was held by video conference for the first time last week, while family courts are responding quickly to emergency applications during the crisis.

With many solicitors working from home and juggling the pressures of balancing home life and casework, especially with clients distressed by the situation, Ms Parkin said the law society was offering additional support for members’ mental health.

She added: “In Harrogate and district, the rule of law is alive and well even during these trying times. The solicitors in our region are adapting to these challenging times and continue to provide their clients with an excellent level of service.”