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13

Dec 2023

Last Updated: 13/12/2023

‘I just want my husband back’ - The Stray Ferret Christmas Appeal 2023

by Flora Grafton

| 13 Dec, 2023
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This year’s Stray Ferret Christmas Appeal is to raise money for a minibus for Dementia Forward in the Harrogate district. 

The appeal is kindly sponsored by Vida Healthcare.

Please give generously to support local people and their families living with dementia. Let’s not forget who needs our help this Christmas.

Today, we talked to a woman who cares for her husband.




“I didn’t sign up for this, Mark didn’t sign up for this, and our sons didn’t sign up for this.”


Wendy Thickett is a carer for husband Mark.

Mark, who was a high-flying computer programmer for more than 32 years, was diagnosed with young onset dementia in 2017 in his early 60s.

Within just one year of his diagnosis, Mark lost his job.

Wendy said:

“He was 20 times more intelligent than me; he loved military history and cricket.
“The first sign was that he couldn’t count back from 100 in threes – he could do that with ease before.”


Mark was initially diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but Wendy wasn’t happy with that and asked for further tests to be done. Finally, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

“When Mark was diagnosed, we were given some leaflets, he had his driving licence taken off him and that was it.”


Wendy said Mark managed for around a year, but things began to decline after that.

“Two years ago, he went on a walk and got lost.
“We had to get the police to look for him. When they found him, he didn’t know where he’d been, but he was covered in mud and blood.
“He’d obviously fallen, but he didn’t understand.”


The Time out Together group



Wendy’s father was also living with dementia and was supported by Dementia Forward. Karen, the head of young onset at the charity, reached out to her about Mark’s diagnosis.

After some convincing, Mark agreed to try the Time Out Together group and, six years later, he visits Dementia Forward three times every week.

Wendy added:

“It’s been an absolute lifeline.
“When you’re at the point where you desperately need help, you need the communication Dementia Forward can give.”


However, Wendy said Mark has declined rapidly and is now practically non-verbal. She said:

"It’s like having a two-year-old – I can’t take my eyes off him. I have a 14-month-old granddaughter and, when I have them together, it’s almost like there’s two of them.
"The worst part isn’t even me losing him, it’s knowing my boys are losing their father in front of them – they’re his carers now – they can’t sit and talk about football and cricket like they used to.
"I just want my husband back."


Despite this, Mark loves his time at Dementia Forward, Wendy said.

He goes on days out with the group and takes part in social events and activities. He has walked with llamas, visited nature reserves, enjoys colouring and, apparently, beats everyone at table tennis.

Mark (left).



Dementia Forward is a lifeline for Wendy and Mark, as well as hundreds of other families across the Harrogate district.

That’s why we need your help to ensure the minibus service remains and those living with dementia can access the support they need.

Dementia Forward’s current bus is old and urgently needs to be replaced. The charity would seriously struggle to afford a new one, which is why they need your help to keep this vital service going. Without it, many people living with dementia wouldn’t be able to access the help and support they need.

Every donation to our campaign will go directly to Dementia Forward, helping us hit our £30,000 target to buy the charity a new minibus and improving the lives of those living with dementia and the people around them.

Please give generously to those who need our help this Christmas. Click here to donate whatever you can – you never know when you, your family or a friend may need Dementia Forward’s help too.

Thank you.

If you need urgent help or have a dementia-related enquiry, call 0330 057 8592 to speak to a helpline adviser.