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02
Dec
Harrogate parents speak of 'traumatic' failings of adoption system
A couple from the Harrogate area who handed their adopted son back into care will feature in a BBC radio programme on the failings of the adoption system, to be broadcast tonight.
The couple, named by the BBC as Ian and Verity, adopted their son Liam and daughter Lauren 15 years ago, when the children were aged two-and-a-half and one respectively.
As Liam grew older, his behaviour became increasingly volatile and violent, and he even threatened them with knives. It became, they say, a “living hell”, and Verity even ended up feeling suicidal.
After one of Liam's meltdowns, his parents called the police. But instead of arresting Liam, the police arrested Verity after Liam accused her of assault. She was released without charge, but the couple knew they could not carry on living with Liam, not least because they worried they could no longer keep their daughter safe.
'It was traumatic'
After much soul-searching and with great reluctance, they informed the council through a solicitor that they would no longer be able to provide Liam with a home, meaning that it would have to find him accommodation.
It was only then, they say, that the support offered by North Yorkshire Council surged to the level that Liam had always needed.
Verity, who has more than 20 years' experience as a learning disability nurse, said:
It was awful. It was traumatic. It was haphazard. We were forced into doing it this way, and essentially making him homeless, in order for the local authority to get their acts together.
Ian and Verity now know that before Liam was adopted, he lived in a household where there was extensive domestic abuse.
Speaking to a meeting of North Yorkshire Council's children and families overview and scrutiny committee last year, Verity said:
We were not told about the reasons behind his behaviour until he was 10 years old, despite him being assessed but discharged by various services for five years.
Liam is now living independently, takes responsibility for his behaviour, and says returning to care was "the kick up the arse" he needed.
But the damage has been done, and Verity believes it could have been prevented. At last year's meeting she added:
Adopters are ‘sold’ adoption as a way to have a happy family and they are not forewarned of the catastrophic effects of the pre-adoption trauma.
Councillors 'unmoved'
Ian and Verity are by no means the only parents to regard North Yorkshire Council's management of children's services as lacking.
Tim Larner, chair of the Harrogate & District Foster Carers Association, told us:
I met Verity as a result of the coincidence that she and we, as council foster carers, sought to state our case for better treatment to the same Overview & Scrutiny Committee at County Hall in June last year.
We all received a very disappointing reply from Children's Services senior officers, and councillors seemed unmoved by our concerns.
One councillor who was also at that meeting is Cllr Peter Lacey, who represents the Coppice Valley & Duchy division and is leader of the main opposition Lib Dem group on North Yorkshire Council. He told us:
We were astounded, but perhaps not surprised to read the BBC’s investigative journalist report on adoptive parents. Having a local family featured was shocking to those of us who have been told time and time again that all is well in North Yorkshire's Children’s Services.
Back in June 2024, after representation by families just like those featured in [the] BBC news item, the Children & Families Overview & Scrutiny Committee refused to accept a Lib Dem call for a task and finish group to consider what were clearly emerging as stress lines in these services.
He added:
At that time, the Tory-majority committee blocked any review, only now to have the chickens come home to roost.
We regret the lost opportunity to play a constructive role in challenging and thereby contributing to improvement in services.
More than 1,000 adopted children returned
Verity, Ian and Liam’s experience is just one of several stories told in a BBC File on 4 Investigates programme, which it claims “discovers a world of lies and blame within adoption in the UK”.
The BBC conducted an extensive freedom of information request into adoptions that have broken down, and found that more than 1,000 adopted children in the UK have returned to care in the past five years. But the programme makers say the real figure may be even higher.
The BBC says the programme, called Adoption: The Blame Game, “explores the scale of the crisis as we hear from parents pushed to the limit, a teenager returned to care and a social worker giving a rare view of the system from the inside”.
The Stray Ferret asked North Yorkshire Council for comment on the programme, and for its response to Verity’s assertion that adoptive parents are not given enough information about the effects of pre-adoption trauma or sufficient support to deal with the consequences.
'Adoption is a lifelong commitment'
North Yorkshire Council’s assistant director for children and families, Mel Hutchinson, said:
Our goal is for every child to have the best possible start in life, and their safety, happiness, and wellbeing are always at the heart of what we do. That is why we work closely with parents understanding their unique circumstances.
We recognise how difficult challenges linked to adoption can be for families and we are committed to providing compassionate, practical support when this happens.
While we cannot discuss individual cases, we want to reassure families that we listen carefully and work hard to respond quickly and appropriately in times of crisis.
We understand adoption is a lifelong commitment and that’s why we offer tailored support, such as therapy, help with contact arrangements, training, and access to peer mentors.
Families can request an assessment for support at any time – from guidance during the adoption process to training and ongoing help post-adoption.
Our approach follows national legislation designed to protect children and support parents, and we continually review how we can improve services based on feedback.
If any family feels their needs are not being met, we encourage them to contact us so we can work together to find solutions.
The File on 4 Investigates programme, Adoption: The Blame Game, will be broadcast on Radio 4 at 8pm on Tuesday, December 2, and is also available as a podcast on BBC Sounds.
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