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08
Aug
‘They’ve all let me down’: Harrogate woman ‘fallen between gaps’ trying to treat drug dependency
A Harrogate woman, who wants to remain anonymous to protect her family, has spent years trying to treat her drug dependency, but has fallen through a gap in the system and unable to get help.
Finding herself dependent on benzodiazepines for pain relief, the woman needs professional help to wean off the drug — stopping too quickly can have serious medical consequences.
She has approached various medical professionals for advice on how to taper off her doses an appropriate amount.
Now, speaking to the Stray Ferret to raise awareness about dependency on the drug, she said:
Over the past two years I have approached my GP, Horizons Drug and Alcohol Recovery Service and, more recently, the mental health team at Hummingbird House. I have been honest about my dependence and have repeatedly asked for help.
When the team at Horizons said they were unable to help, she called her doctor, who said he needed to speak to another doctor, and never called back.
While she is keen to emphasise that everyone she has come into contact with has treated her with “kindness and respect”, it’s the system she finds frustrating – each service has its own remit and she gets passed from one to the other.
She said:
It has left me feeling as though I have fallen into a gap between services, where everyone wants to help, but no one is able to provide the medical support I believe I need. That is terrifying.
I’m going to go and do it myself. I don’t trust anyone anymore, they’ve all let me down. I can see that their hands are tied – I’ve bought these off the internet and they don’t know what’s in them. But I don’t understand why they can’t watch me put these in the bin and put me on diazepam and taper the dose off.
I never imagined I would be sitting at my kitchen table trying to calculate doses, reading medical information online, asking ChatGPT and hoping I was making safe titration decisions because I felt I had run out of other options.
‘They’ve tried me on different drugs but they didn’t work’
The woman started taking benzodiazepines in the 90s, when suffering from pain caused by a rare genetic disorder. She was given them by her friend, and it was the first time the pain stopped.
She said:
It was the 90s when I was growing up, a bit of everything went those days. I was in that world, people would take it on a comedown. In my head there are street dugs which are illegal, and prescribed drugs, which in my head aren’t illegal, but they’re only legal if prescribed by a doctor, which my ones weren’t. But I don’t use them to get high, I don’t like the effects if I take too much, but I need them to function and keep the pain at bay.
They’ve tried me on different groups of drugs but they didn’t work. One of them made me feel like I was having a heart attack, I called 111 because I didn’t know what was happening, I felt like me heart was going to come out of my throat. So I can’t take them, the other groups just don’t work, so benzodiazepines are the only things I know that work but they don’t give them out in this country. They do it short-term, but not long-term, and I need it long-term for the pain for my condition.
The woman only has four weeks' worth of tablets left.
‘When I come to harm they’ll help’
Because the woman couldn’t access the help she needed, she ended up buying benzodiazepines from what she thought was an online pharmacy, not realising that what she was doing could be illegal.
In June she had a traumatic experience, where she believes she was spiked and blacked out for four hours after being taken into a tent by a man.
She says she was found on the beach screaming, but when the police were called she was arrested.
The woman said:
The police found me, realised I was on something, searched me, found the benzodiazepines that I use as a painkiller and something to get me out into the world. Because I am an honest person, when they asked if they were prescribed me to I said no, and they arrested me for carrying a Class C drug. Nobody came to check on me, even though I said was attacked.
The woman is torn between not wanting to buy more drugs illegally, but has been told that coming off the benzodiazepines safely would take a year – she only has four weeks’ worth left.
She said:
I am in danger of a seizure or death. I would definitely get things like vomiting and diarrhoea. When I said ‘what am I meant to do if I have seizure’ to the Horizons lady she said ‘call an ambulance’. Basically I have to do it myself and when I come to harm they’ll help.
My immediate problem is how do I get through the next four weeks? The Horizons lady said she would look into rehabilitation centres that they could fund, because I don’t have that sort of money. It’s about £8,000 a week and I would need to be there for six weeks to do it safely.
Coming off these might kill me, but I might get a phone call tomorrow saying the doctor is willing to titrate you and everything is fine. It just seems like the system is set up for addicts to fail – and I don’t consider myself an addict I consider myself dependent on medication to stay healthy. I do what I need to do to function, to hold down a job, to look after my family, to survive.
I take full responsibility for my own actions. However, I keep asking myself one question: if someone is dependent on a medication that can be dangerous to stop suddenly, and they cannot access appropriate support to reduce it safely, what are they supposed to do?
I want people to know where they can go for safe, evidence-based support without feeling like they’re being passed from one place to another. Just a clearer pathway for people who are genuinely asking for help.
The Stray Ferret went to the Harrogate and District NHS Foundation Trust for comment but have not yet heard back.
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