Rivals is back – but have our attitudes towards marriage and divorce really changed since the 1980s?

Sponsored

As Rivals returns to our screens, we look back at the powerful kitchen-table conversation that raised questions about marriage, duty and the courage to choose a different future.

The remaining episodes of Rivals series two landed on our screens last night, bringing another dose of scandal, betrayal and high drama from Jilly Cooper’s glamorous 1980s world. Yet beneath the outrageous storylines and larger-than-life characters lies something far more relatable: the emotional realities of marriage, relationships and the difficult decisions people face when things fall apart.

One of the most powerful moments from the first half of the series wasn't a lavish party, an affair or a dramatic confrontation.

It was a conversation around a kitchen table.

In a deeply emotional exchange, Lady Monica Baddingham and Lizzie Vereker reflect on their unhappy marriages, the sacrifices they've made and the example they're setting for their daughters.

Lizzie questions the message that years of duty and putting others first might be sending to the next generation.

The sentiment is simple, yet incredibly powerful:

Our daughters deserve better. So do we.

Although Rivals is set in the 1980s, the conversation feels remarkably contemporary. Society may have changed, yet the emotions behind that moment remain familiar.

The divorce question that hasn't changed

As family lawyers, we rarely meet people who have made the decision to separate lightly.

Most have spent months, often years, wrestling with the same questions.

What will happen to the children? Will people think I've failed? Should I keep trying? Am I being selfish? Would everyone be happier if I carried on?

Despite changing attitudes towards divorce, many people still feel an overwhelming responsibility towards everyone except themselves.

The emotional burden of staying in an unhappy relationship is often underestimated.

"I'm staying for the children"

One of the most common reasons people give for remaining in an unhappy marriage is concern for their children.

The desire to protect them is entirely understandable.

Yet children don't simply observe what parents say. They see how relationships work, how people communicate and what respect and happiness look like.

For some families, remaining together is the right decision. For others, the assumption that staying together is always best deserves careful reflection.

The question raised in Rivals isn't necessarily whether parents should divorce. It's about the example we set and whether our own happiness should always come last.

The weight of duty

Monica and Lizzie's conversation captures something many people experience but rarely discuss openly: the feeling that duty has become more important than happiness.

Whilst attitudes have evolved, many individuals still feel pressure to prioritise everyone else's needs above their own.

For those who have spent years raising children, supporting a partner's career or managing family life, starting again can feel daunting. Financial uncertainty can make that decision harder still.

Yet sometimes a simple question changes everything:

"If someone I loved was living my life, what advice would I give them?"

Divorce is not failure

Relationships end for many reasons. People grow, circumstances change and sometimes remaining together is no longer healthy or sustainable.

Recognising that reality can take enormous courage.

Equally, choosing to work on a relationship may be right for some couples. There is no single answer for every family.

What matters is having the freedom, information and support to make that choice.

The courage to choose a different future

As Rivals returns, there will undoubtedly be more betrayals, confrontations and difficult decisions.

Yet that quiet kitchen-table conversation reminds us that some of life's biggest turning points happen when someone begins questioning what they've accepted for years.

Whilst family lawyers advise on the legal and financial implications of separation, the decision itself is deeply personal.

Understanding your options doesn't mean committing to divorce. Sometimes it simply provides the clarity and confidence to consider what comes next.

At Harrogate Family Law, we understand that behind every separation is a real person facing difficult decisions. Being on their side means helping them understand their options, protect what matters and move forward with confidence.

Forty years on, perhaps the most important message from that kitchen-table conversation remains: Our daughters deserve better. So do we.

Becky Ewart-White is a Solicitor and mediator working towards accreditation at Harrogate Family Law. With extensive experience supporting parents through complex child arrangements and separation, Becky is passionate about helping families find constructive solutions that put children's wellbeing first. Her approach reflects the firm's commitment to resolving disputes wherever possible without the need for court proceedings, helping parents move forward positively and build a better future for themselves and their children.