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Nov 2023

Last Updated: 22/11/2023

Stray Ferret Christmas Appeal 2023: How dementia led two carers to become best friends

by Flora Grafton

| 22 Nov, 2023

This year’s Stray Ferret Christmas Appeal is to raise £30,000 for a much-needed minibus for Dementia Forward in the Harrogate district.

The appeal is kindly sponsored by Vida Healthcare.

Please give generously to support local people and their families living with dementia. Let’s not forget those that need help this Christmas.

Today, Flora spoke to two women who met at the wellbeing café.

“It’s about knowing there’s someone at the end of the phone who understands what we’re going through.”

Cynthia Storie and Eileen King’s are both carers for their husbands, who are living with dementia, and have found comfort in each other through Dementia Forward’s wellbeing café.

Before their husbands’ diagnosis, Cynthia was a secretary and Eileen was a nanny. They were just like anyone else. But two years ago, everything changed.

Cynthia said:

“Your livelihood is taken from you – it’s a shocking blow.”

She was given a Dementia Forward leaflet following her husband Mike's diagnosis. Eileen used the helpline service to work out their next steps.

Cynthia added:

“I wanted to make sure Mike could still socialise – he was so used to doing everything for himself.

“He didn’t want to come at all, but after I’d convinced him, and someone brought him a cup of coffee, he was chatting away. Two years later, he’s still here.”

The women said the café is an environment where their husbands feel understood. It combats the loneliness those living with dementia can often feel.

Carers can breathe a sigh of relief knowing their loved one is safe at the café, and can share their experiences with with others facing similar challenges.

She continued:

“You find that friends who you have spent so long going out for dinner and socialising with are so sympathetic at first, but after they realise they don’t understand, you become so isolated.”

The café has helped Eileen and her husband more than she could have imagined. She said:

“It helps so much coming here. It’s frightening – you don’t know what’s around the corner.

“It means I’ve got support, and you can offload to people that understand. The staff here don’t judge at all, and they take the guilt away from the carers.”

The women also call each other regularly to check in, visit each other for a cup of tea, and even bake cakes for each other.

Eileen said:

“We, as carers, put on a front. When you’re on your own, you pick up the phone and tell a friend that you need to talk.

“It’s nice when somebody says, ‘how are you?’.”

Dementia has been life-changing for both ladies and their husbands, but the café has brought them some level of peace.

Cynthia added:

“We want people who are reading this to know it takes courage to walk through the door of somewhere like this, but they’re not alone and it’s so worth it to come to these groups.”

Thousands of local families are fighting a long battle with these horrible diseases – and they need your help.

Every donation to our campaign will go directly to Dementia Forward, helping us hit our £30,000 target to buy the charity a new minibus and bettering the lives of those living with dementia and the people around them.

Dementia Forward’s current bus is old and urgently needs to be replaced. The charity would seriously struggle to afford a new one, which is why they need your help to keep this vital service going. Without it, many people living with dementia wouldn’t be able to access the help and support they need.

Please click here to donate whatever you can – you never know when you, your family or a friend may be in need of Dementia Forward’s help too.

Thank you.

The NHS found that one in 11 people over the age of 65 in the UK are living with dementia. If you need urgent help or have a dementia-related enquiry, call 0330 057 8592 to speak to a helpline adviser.