Strayside Sunday is our monthly political opinion column. It is written by Paul Baverstock, former Director of Communications for the Conservative Party. 

“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.”

The title of Lesley Gore’s original 1963 release sums up my current feelings about the Conservative Party to which I still pay a modest subscription (but for how much longer I can’t predict) - so grudging of Boris and his ‘antics’ have I lately become.  Let me stop myself there.  The way Boris Johnson comports himself in office cannot and should not be described by such a benign and affectionate term as ‘antics.’

This man, or, more accurately, this man-child, is genetically irresponsible, a consistent breaker of the laws designed to keep us safe in the face of the most dangerous international health crisis in a century.  Laws by the way, drafted by the government he leads and sold to us by the Great Man from his Downing Street lectern flanked by men and women of stature, learning and integrity.   On his return to work as Director of Communications for Boris Johnson (he worked for him in the same position when he was Mayor of London), former BBC journo Guto Harri was heard this week to say that Boris “wasn’t a total clown.”  I’d like to have had the second question and therefore had the opportunity to ask Mr Harri to identify those parts of the Prime Minister’s character that don’t qualify for such description.

In addition to his complete lack of the competencies required to lead a government, he is replete with human failings; he is a serial adulterer - ask his children if you can find them all - and a congenital liar.  Human failings are no bar to high office in our country, just ask Mr. Gladstone (and for that matter Lloyd George, the Old Goat).  But they ought to be if they are the primary and exclusive characteristic of the individual in question and remain unredeemed by qualities of leadership, administration, or application.

Boris Johnson is clearly unfit for elected office of any kind, let alone the highest office in the land.  If the man had an ounce of honour he would resign.  This he does not have and so the Conservative Party should do the right thing and get rid of him.  If they do not, I predict confidently that the Conservatives will go down to the mother of crushing defeats at the next General Election.  The electoral back is broken.

Watching Conservative MPs as they squirm and manoeuvre in the face of this car crash is deeply uncomfortable.  The sheer torture as they try to find a form of words to avoid having to say Boris broke the law, was a fool to attend a series of parties in Downing Street during lockdown (is it now 6 that he is alleged to have personally attended and been photographed at?), and that it beggars belief how much booze was going down the hatch in Number 10 on Wine Wednesdays, Thirsty Thursdays, and thank F its Fridays.  Some have broken cover. God bless David Davis.  The old bruiser sticking it to Johnson in PMQ’s with the poetic ‘by the grace of God, go” was a sight to behold.

The Johnson loyalists who have been sent out to argue the man’s case, chief among them Nadine Dorries, butter few parsnips – to paraphrase, no lions led by donkeys here, these are donkeys all the way.  And they certainly don’t understand the Red Wall Tories who are beside themselves with fury at all this.  Elected on a false promise, most RWT’s already understand they now have but one parliamentary term to make a mark before their constituents boot them out again, disappointed, disenchanted and determinedly unlevelled up.

And so, to our Harrogate’s own Andrew Jones MP.  This week our gentle soul was actually stirred into action and suggested that the PM has serious questions to answer over his attendance at the Downing Street parties/work gatherings.  He waits with anticipation for the results of the police enquiry.  Andrew breaking cover was so noteworthy that he got a mention in the New Statesman magazine as being proof, so usually supine and mouse-like is he, that the PM is in serious bother.  Who’d have thought it, Andrew Jones becoming a hero of the thoughtful left? Strange times indeed.

Those of you who read Strayside Sunday with any regularity will know that I attempt usually to provide thought and balance with a little humour thrown in.  I’m afraid this week I have nothing but polemic to offer, so angry am I about the behaviour of a Conservative Prime Minister and his parliamentary party in the face of such obvious scandal.  Now is the time for the party, including Andrew Jones, to stand up, do the right thing, and rid us of the near total clown at the top of the shop.  Send in your letter to the ‘22 Mr. Jones and you will do more for your reputation for principle and courage as a public servant than anything you can point to since your election in 2010.

If you and colleagues don’t, then Boris will continue to riff on Lesley Gore’s hit and sing, “It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to.”

That’s my Strayside Sunday.

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