Planning your future: why pre-nuptial agreements matterWill your will survive your wedding? Here’s what the law saysCutting corners in divorce could cost you thousandsPlanning your wedding? Here’s why a pre-nup might be a good ideaMarriage proposal mystery solved: She said yes!

The mystery surrounding an aircraft flying over Harrogate trailing the message “Chloe will you marry me? Luke” has had a happy ending.

Luke Stocking contacted the Stray Ferret after reading our story to let us know that it was he who proposed and his girlfriend Chloe had accepted. He wrote to us in an email:

“Luke here! We loved this article, you’ll be pleased to hear she said yes.”

He also sent some photos taken when he popped the question at Castle Howard near York.

Luke arranged a romantic picnic to watch the flyover with Chloe.

The message brightened an overcast day in the district, generating lots of warm comments on social media — as well as generating intrigue about the identity of Chloe and whether she said yes.

The couple live in the south of England.

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COLUMN: Are you married to a narcissist?

This legal column is written by family lawyer, Laura Mounsey. Laura is a partner at Harrogate Family Law. She specialises in dealing with divorced couples and people who have been in abusive relationships. Her role involves protecting her clients’ assets and income if they want to live with someone or get married and resolving disagreements about children. In this column, she discusses the red flags to look out for that indicate you may be married to a narcissist and how to get out.

I have experienced the trauma of divorcing a narcissist first-hand. I am now a lawyer who specialises in helping people who are terrified of standing up to them.

Typically, I find that many of my clients have been conditioned to think that they have no self-worth. They have been controlled and bullied for years. They believe that any wrongdoing is their fault and that they do not deserve any better. The idea of saying “enough is enough” paralyses them with fear; so worn down, they feel trapped with no way out.

Over time, I have heard many people who sit in front of me say that their ex is:

They tell them what to do and what not to do. They are scolded for “stepping out of line”. However, the rules always change, and they never win. Instead, they live their lives walking on eggshells.

They think they are superior and expect that others cater to, and admire, them. Even though they have inflated self-esteem, beneath it, hides crippling insecurities which cause them to lash out.

They are obsessed with what other people think about them. They will put others down to make themselves seem better than they are. They are obsessed with attention and will often play the victim if needed.

They will often lie and pin people against each other. They will isolate people and are prepared to do anything to get what they want. Often, they undermine others around them so much that they start to question their own judgement, not their ex.

Does this ring any alarm bells?

Leaving a narcissist is daunting. A client once told me that her ex would do everything in his power to destroy her so that she ended up in a shoe box on the Stray with nothing but her children.

But she held her nerve and took the plunge, broke free and now has a very comfortable life that is all hers.

If, like her, you know deep down that you need to leave but you do not know what to do, the best thing that you can do is get specialist advice from a divorce lawyer who knows what you are dealing with.

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Harrogate couple among first to tie the knot post lockdown

A couple from Harrogate has become one of the first to get married post lockdown.

Hannah and Tim Laughlan were supposed to get married on June 6, but had their plans cancelled due to covid. Instead, the couple decided to have their wedding on July 4, the first day marriages were allowed again.

The couple had planned a big wedding with a church service and large reception in a hotel. However, when their special day finally came, the bride and groom had to settle for a much smaller event, with just 25 guests in attendance at Emmanuel Baptist Church in Horsforth.

guests at the wedding

Singing wasn’t allowed at the wedding and guests had to abide by social distancing rules throughout the day.

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Hannah told the Stray Ferret that despite it being different to what had been planned, the day was more intimate. She said:

“It was definitely different to what we had imagined, but it was really nice because we didn’t have to worry about as much. On the day I was so chilled out, I didn’t have to stress about things I probably would have done like seating arrangements and colour schemes.”

collage of guests

The couple made a collage of all their guests who couldn’t attend.

The couple live streamed their wedding from the church so guests could still join them for their special day. Even Hannah’s uncle got dressed up for the occasion and tuned in all the way from Australia.

In November, Hannah and Tim are hoping to celebrate their wedding again with those who couldn’t make it. They plan to go to church for a blessing and then have a bigger reception so that they can “do everything properly” when it is safe to do so.

Photography by Emily Green Photography, www.emily-Green-photography.co.uk.

Rise in civil ceremonies inspires new career for Harrogate teacher

A former teacher has set up a new business in Harrogate offering civil ceremonies as a result of a growth in non-religious weddings, funerals and naming ceremonies.

Weddings overall have been in decline over recent years, and religious ceremonies now account for less than a quarter of all weddings that take place in the UK.

Data published this year by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) shows that in 2017, North Yorkshire had a total of 4,606 marriages of opposite-sex couples, 3,443 of which were civil ceremonies with only 1,163 religious ceremonies.

A chart showing marriage statistics since 1967 in England and Wales

Former international teacher Melanie Gail has recently launched her new business in Harrogate. She told the Stray Ferret that the trend towards civil ceremonies sparked her interest in becoming an independent civil celebrant.

She said:

“The reason I am attracted to it is because I think it’s great that it offers people the freedom of choice. They can choose to have it on their front garden, or on a mountain top, or in a forest.

“People can get married whenever they want, provided they do the legal part in a registry office. They can have a ceremony which really reflects who they are.”

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As of August 1, larger wedding receptions can return but guest numbers will be limited to 30. Melanie argued that this may also make civil ceremonies more popular.

She said:

“Everything is becoming a lot smaller because of the legislations and potentially also a lot more intimate. With the new limits on numbers of guests at weddings, people are rethinking the venues they choose.”