Laura’s Law: Leaving an abusive relationship

Laura’s Law is a monthly legal column, written by family lawyer, Laura Mounsey. Laura is a partner at Harrogate Family Law. She specialises in dealing with divorced couples and people who have been in abusive relationships. Her role involves protecting her clients’ assets and income if they want to live with someone or get married and resolving disagreements about children.

This week Laura advises on preparing to leave an abusive relationship.

 

How did this happen to someone like you?

It is painful to realise that you are in an abusive relationship. It is even more painful when you are hit by how long you did not see it for.

Many around you won’t have seen it either. Or if they did notice it, they ignored it because it was easier. Others are shocked that it ever happened to someone “like” you. But you aren’t “like” yourself at all anymore by this point, are you? That is probably why you don’t feel that you can “just” leave.   

I often find that the biggest risk is that you do not learn how to come out of “survival mode”. Most things that you are worried about can be fixed by someone like me. But nothing can be fixed unless you help me help you. But it is hard to even decide that you do need me. If that is you, speak with a counsellor, life coach, friend, family, police or even stranger to help you realise that you can make a decision. And that decision is to leave.

If that is too daunting, why don’t you read a book about it? There are many out there, for people just like you, written by people who used to be where you are.

I would not be surprised if even reading that strikes fear into your heart. No doubt you have already been threatened about what they would do if you even dared to want something better. I bet that they have said that they would take the children from you and make sure you end up with nothing. But you are not worth nothing, far from it. To go through something like you have, you must be the strongest out there.

If you do decide to separate, it is time to do something different. It often does not help to deal with your abusive ex in the same way that you did whilst you were together. That is not dealing with them at all. That just gives them another opportunity to do whatever they want to try and get their own way which may only make you more vulnerable. That is why you need a lot of people on your side.

In the meantime, do things that you want to do. Start practising making yourself a priority. Why don’t you buy the top you really liked? Or go to the hairdressers (pandemic permitting) and do something different with your hair? Maybe even promise yourself to go somewhere you like every week. Or why don’t you reach out to that friend that they said you weren’t allowed to talk to anymore?

Isn’t it time?

Covid care inspires daughter to raise money for hospital

A Harrogate woman has set an ambitious fundraising target after seeing first-hand the vital work done by NHS staff to treat patients with covid.

Victoria Read is hoping to raise £10,000 for Harrogate Hospital and Community Charity after her father contracted the virus and spent three months in hospital.

During that time, he was placed in an induced coma and on a ventilator for three weeks, and was so unwell at one stage in early December that his family were called into the hospital.

“They were incredible. We’ve never had to call on the NHS in that way before and to have it at such a horrible time and the scenario we were in was awful.

“We were in awe of their work and passion and patience and resilience. They never gave up on him, so he never gave up.”

Victoria’s dad was finally well enough to be moved onto a recovery ward on Boxing Day and came home last week. Though she said his road to full recovery will be long, she has already set to work on her aim of raising money for the hospital which saved his life.

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So far, she has shared her plans with friends, who have donated more than £1,000 in just a few days. Current restrictions mean she can’t hold a normal fundraising event, but to keep the campaign going and reach her target, she is working on a number of ideas.

The first is “say it without flowers”, asking people to consider donating the money they might usually spend on Valentine’s Day to the charity. With so many people affected by coronavirus, or relying on the NHS to continue supporting them in other ways despite the pandemic, she hopes support will flood in to recognise the dedication of NHS staff. She said:

“We wrote letters and left WhatsApp messages for my dad, and the nurses played them to him and read to him. Although it’s 24-hour nursing care, they aren’t just looking at oxygen levels and things – they’re also caring for him, washing him and brushing his hair and making sure his beard is trimmed. The dignity they gave him was incredible.”

She added:

“It takes something like this for you to really understand covid and respect it. Some people are being very cynical about it. I would never wish this on anyone, but I don’t think you can really understand it until you’ve been through it.”

Having been forced to cancel her wedding before her dad fell ill, Victoria said 2020 was “the worst year” for her family. She hopes starting an ambitious project will help to make 2021 more positive, even with lockdown restrictions.

To donate to Victoria’s campaign, click here.

Stray Foodie recipes: Some like it hot!

Stray Foodie Lockdown Recipes are written by Michelin-starred chef, Frances Atkins. In 1997, Frances opened the Yorke Arms near Pateley Bridge, where she was the owner for 20 years. During her ownership, she held her Michelin-star status for 16 of those years.

“I’ll be bringing you some of my favourite recipes each week. I’d love to see how you make the recipes your own – let me know by using #StrayFoodie or tagging @thestrayferret in your social media posts.”

 

A little heat in our daily diet is nourishing and comforting.  As I have mentioned before, my extremely talented Grandmother would always have a glass of Crabbie’s Ginger Wine in the winter after a walk, often followed by a hot and spicy vegetable soup, stacked with ginger.

Ginger has been cultivated for centuries, its popularity as a spice gradually spreading from China and India to the west. Today it is probably one of the most used and universally popular spices. The tuberous root stock joints are laterally compressed, producing amazing flavour that once again can also produce oil that is used for medicinal purposes. Ginger is now very commonplace and, perhaps because of its availability, slightly undervalued. It belongs to the same family as turmeric, which again is a root which also serves many health benefits.

As a chef I would not be without fresh and dried ginger in my larder; it is one of my flavour building blocks. As a strong root it is a great base for complementing herbs such as lemon thyme, crushed lemon grass, coriander and cardamom seed to name but a few. So when slow cooking, such as stews, belly pork and stir fries, grated ginger should be part of one’s aromas.

Dried ginger is a great additive to cakes and puddings, again stimulated other spices and sugars. Watch out, ginger can be addictive! The more you use it the more compelling it becomes.

Frances Atkins's Yorkshire Parkin

Yorkshire Parkin

Last week I gave a recipe for Seville Orange Marmalade. This week I have a Yorkshire Parkin with lots of ginger and a Seville Orange Marmalade topping. Yorkshire Parkin could be classed as a gingerbread with oatmeal and has a wonderful nutty flavour and is great to eat as a sweet or a savoury. A very competitive cake in Yorkshire households and so therefore many different views, recipes and opinions on it.  A lot of people will argue that it should have treacle and dark sugar, but I prefer to produce it with a lighter, more fragrant and modern touch.

Yorkshire Parkin

 Ingredients:

Method:

To make the batter, place the butter, sugar and syrup in a saucepan and melt down, do not boil. Stir in the oatmeal, flour, ginger and salt until all blended together.

Add the beaten egg and milk and pour in to an 8 inch square silicone paper lined tin. Bake at 150C for 35 – 40 minutes.

Let it cool before removing from the tin.

 

Frosting

Ingredients:

Method:

Add together and beat well. Spread on top of the Parkin and top with Seville Orange Marmalade. This is delicious!

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Man sought after bank card and cash taken in Knaresborough burglary

Police are trying to identify a man from CCTV images after a bank card and cash were stolen in a burglary at a Knaresborough home.

The incident took place on Aspin Park Lane on Tuesday, January 26, between 2pm and 3pm.

A spokesperson for North Yorkshire Police said:

“We are requesting the public’s assistance to help establish the full circumstances surrounding the incident.

“In particular, we are appealing for information to help identify the man in the CCTV image as officers believe he might have information which could assist the investigation.”

Police are trying to trace this man from CCTV images

Anyone with information can contact North Yorkshire Police on 101, select option two, and ask for Geeta Maharjan, or email geeta.maharjan2@northyorkshire.pnn.police.uk.

To report information anonymously, call Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111. Quote the North Yorkshire Police reference number 12210045217.

Business moves to independence despite covid challenges

Two business partners have taken the next step in their future plans, despite the challenges of coronarivus.

Kevin Masheder and Marc Squires have owned the Harrogate franchise of Signarama since 2016 and, like most business owners, have faced the challenges of changing regulations since last March.

They have now decided to launch as an independent signage business under a new brand, SignHub, and hope the contacts they have built over the last five years will see them through the rest of lockdown and beyond. Marc said:

“When the first lockdown was announced, we closed for seven or eight weeks, when the shops were all closed. They started saying manufacturing could be open as an essential service, but it was all very uncertain.

“When retail opened, Kevin and I came in, then the other staff followed on part-time furlough. After we opened, we had a lot of work from people like landscape gardeners, who could work outside.”

The second half of 2020 was a mixed picture for the business, with quieter periods during tighter restrictions and over Christmas. The new lockdown from the start of the year saw work tail off, but Marc said the last two weeks have been busier again – and the pair are hopeful that the next stage in their business journey will be a success, despite the challenging circumstances.

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Initially employed as graphic designers, when Marc and Kevin took over the franchise they were given the opportunity to turn it into an independent business. However, they wanted to learn the ropes from outgoing owner Michael Webster, who stayed on to help them get established before taking full retirement.

With a host of local companies using their services to create signage and more, the pair hope the rebrand will only help to raise their profile. Customers have already been complimenting the new signs on their Knaresborough Road premises – but they won’t be in place for long.

The lease on the building ends this spring so, needing more space and covered areas to brand vehicles, they are moving to Killinghall Business Park. Marc added:

“When we could network, we got to know a lot of people in the business community. We thought if we can spread the word about the changes, it won’t be too bad.

“We are roadside now, so people do come past, but they only come in if they need what we offer – and at the moment, the retail side is click and collect only. A lot of our work comes from online, especially since covid began, and a lot of our bigger customers wouldn’t come to the shop anyway – they just email or pick up the phone.

“We also get a lot of referrals from our customers, so we hope that will continue.”

Mountain bike stolen from Harrogate garage

Police are appealing for information after a mountain bike was stolen from a locked garage in Harrogate.

It happened just before 1am on Wednesday, January 27, when the lock was broken on a garage on Tewit Well Road.

The green and black mountain bike was stolen. A spokesperson for North Yorkshire Police said:

“We are requesting the public’s assistance to help establish the full circumstances surrounding the incident.

“In particular, we are appealing for information about anyone who might have seen a green and black mountain bike in the area around this time.”

Anyone with information can call North Yorkshire Police on 101, select option two and ask for Elizabeth Estensen, or email elizabeth.estensen@northyorkshire.pnn.police.uk.

To report information anonymously, call Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111. Quote the North Yorkshire Police reference number 12210042876.

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Covid cases in Harrogate district rise by 53

A further 53 coronavirus cases have been confirmed in the Harrogate district today.

It brings the total diagnosed with the virus to 6,321 since the start of the pandemic.

The seven-day average rate of infection for the district has risen slightly to 292.9 per 100,000, compared to 284 yesterday.

Meanwhile, the seven-day average for the whole of North Yorkshire is now 273.3. Craven and Selby remain the districts with the highest rate in the county, each at just over 300.

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No further deaths have been reported at Harrogate District Hospital in today’s figures from Public Health England.

The latest figures show the hospital is currently treating 44 inpatients with covid.

Harrogate cyclist plans 24-hour challenge in aunt’s memory

A Harrogate man is preparing to take on a 300-mile cycling challenge in memory of his aunt, a well-known national radio broadcaster.

Simon Gregory will cycle from Harrogate’s Sir Robert Ogden Macmillan Centre to the Southampton hospital where his aunt, the Rev Ruth Scott, was treated for lymphoma.

He plans to complete the 288-mile route in just 24 hours in June, which will mean cycling through the night on his own. Despite the scale of his challenge, Simon is a relatively new cyclist. He said:

“I got into cycling around the time Ruth died and when the UCI cycling was coming to Harrogate. A client entered me for the sportive and I raised £2,000 for Leeds Cares.

“From there, I realised the physical benefits and mental health benefits of cycling, which really helped me with my grief.”

Simon continued to ride and, having raised £2,000, began to wonder what he could do to raise even more for cancer charities.

One of several family members to go through cancer treatment, his aunt was diagnosed with a rare form of lymphoma which did not respond to normal treatments – though some long-shot options taken by her doctors did give better results. Throughout her treatment, Ruth and her family were supported by Macmillan.

Pause for Thought

Until shortly before her death in early 2019, Ruth was known as one of the voices of Pause for Thought on the BBC Radio 2 breakfast show, first with Sir Terry Wogan and then with Chris Evans. However, Simon said her appearances were just one of the remarkable things in her life.

“She was a priest, and before that she was a clown in a circus. The first service she did after she was ordained involved a bit of fire eating.

“She never said no to a challenge and she spent a lot of time in the Middle East and North Africa, to try to increase understanding between Christian and Muslim communities there.”

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Ruth herself once cycled from Rome to Jerusalem, giving Simon even more inspiration for his challenge. He began training last year and has stepped up his mileage in recent weeks.

At the same time, he is juggling home-schooling for his two primary age children, and running specialist recruitment business GPS Return with his wife, Miranda.

“They’ve been incredibly supportive. These last couple of weekends, the snow has interrupted training but Miranda has still been encouraging me to go.

“For some of the rides, I’ve been out for 10 or 11 hours. Last year, they jumped in the car and had a day on the beach at Saltburn. I cycled up and met them there for 20 minutes then set off home again.”

The current lockdown restrictions mean Simon is staying closer to home: his next 100-mile training ride will be completed in laps starting from his Harrogate home.

Although he told his wider family last year about the challenge he was taking on, Simon has only just revealed it to friends. Now, he’s hoping to get as close to his £10,000 fundraising target as possible before he starts the challenge in mid-June.

To donate to Simon’s challenge, click here, or follow his progress on Instagram at @ruthscott24hr.

Stray Foodie recipes: The joy of oranges in January

Stray Foodie Lockdown Recipes are written by Michelin-starred chef, Frances Atkins. In 1997, Frances opened the Yorke Arms near Pateley Bridge, where she was the owner for 20 years. During her ownership, she held her Michelin-star status for 16 of those years.

“I’ll be bringing you some of my favourite recipes each week. I’d love to see how you make the recipes your own – let me know by using #StrayFoodie or tagging @thestrayferret in your social media posts.”

 

The Seville orange is prized for making British marmalade as it is higher in pectin than the usual sweet orange.

Introduced to Spain and many other parts of the world, but native to South East Asia, there are many varieties of this beautiful bitter sweet orange. For example some are used in essential oils and herbal medicines.  The peel can be used for the production of bitters and also dried, ground and candied.

Seville oranges

There is just so much you can do with this wonderful orange as well as the much publicised British Seville orange marmalade that we make at this time of year. Some recipes seem to me to be very complicated with others being relatively simple. The red orange is far more beautiful to look at but in my opinion does not have the versatility of the Seville. The Seville’s depth of flavour it is a wonderful accompaniment to fish, meat and vegetable dishes.

 

For a classic Seville Orange Marmalade:

Ingredients

 

Method

Wash the oranges well and place in a pan with approx. two litres of cold water. Cook slowly whole.

When cool, remove the oranges from the liquid, reserving the liquid. Cut the oranges in half, spoon out the inside of the orange and place in a piece of muslin. Tie with string forming a bag.

Shred the orange and place back in to the reserved liquid. Add the sugar and the muslin bag and the lemon juice. Bring to the boil for approx 10-20 minutes until it sets.

To check is has set, drop a little of the marmalade on to a saucer with a drop of water and it should wrinkle. Remove the muslin bag and discard.

Place your marmalade in sterilised warm jars.

 

For a Red Orange Gel

Ingredients

Method

Zest one of the oranges and juice all. Add all the ingredients together. Reduce by half, making a syrup, and pour through a sieve. Add the teaspoon of agar for a gel, or just use the syrup.

 

Cheese Fritters with a Red Orange Dressing

Ingredients

 

Method

Place the flour in a bowl with the spring onions and baking powder. Season.

Add 2ml of cold water and mix together to form a batter. Stir in the grated cheese and chopped thyme and parsley.

Heat the oil in a sauté pan and drop the fritters in as if you were making scotch pancakes.

 

To make the dressing:

Beat all ingredients together.

 

Serve the fritters with a salad of your choice – avocado, crunchy leaves, red chicory and finely diced fennel is delicious. Lastly, your red orange gel and dressing.

 

 

Harrogate radio station finds new home

A radio station in Harrogate has found a new home thanks to a partnership with a local business.

HG1 Radio has set up a studio in Doors Direct’s showroom on Claro Road, ready to welcome its team when covid restrictions allow.

Once the studios have been fully commissioned and tested, the presenters will be able to host their shows ‘live’ from the new base.  Managing director Dave Parker said:

“As soon as we are able to do so, we will be operating very much on an ‘open house’ basis for other local businesses and community groups to pay us a visit to see how everything works and to meet the team behind the station.

“It is frustrating that we can’t hold a launch event open day at the moment – but rest-assured the invites will be going out just as soon as it is safe and sensible to do so.”

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HG1 Radio has been on the air since July 2020, with its presenters currently working from home studios. It broadcasts online and via apps and media players, but is hoping to move onto DAB in the future.

Doors Direct, meanwhile, has been based on Claro Road for 21 of its 40 years in business. Owner Sean Clarke said he was looking forward to allowing customers to see the new studio, which includes some of the company’s products in its construction. He added:

“It is really exciting to have a radio station based within our business. It adds a whole new dimension to everything – and I’m looking forward to being able to show it off to customers and other businesses.”