Do you have a spare room in Harrogate that could host victims of domestic abuse?

The domestic abuse charity IDAS says too often people leaving an abusive relationship are unable to access emergency accommodation to help them plan for their future.

It runs a project called Safe Havens where hosts receive specialist training and provide accommodation for people who are escaping dangerous situations. They are also supported by a dedicated domestic abuse worker.

Pauline (not her real name), a survivor of domestic abuse, said:

“If I had known what help was out there when I was trying to leave, things would have turned out very differently for me. I was young and very scared of my then husband. My family not only did not recognise the abuse but wanted me to stay with my husband. It was only when he went on to remarry his second wife, who left him for the same reasons, that people began to realise what he was.

“I wish I could have taken my daughter and run, even just for a few days to get my head straight, but I had nowhere safe to go and he’d threaten me with awful things if I tried. I know now that IDAS would have helped, and I could have avoided 8 years of pain. Being offered a safe place, for a short time might have made all the difference to me and I’m sure it will make all the difference to people who are trapped with abusers now.”

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Anna Dinsdale, Local Area Manager IDAS, added:

“Escaping an abusive partner or family member is rarely straight forward, it takes tremendous bravery and courage. The IDAS Safe Havens hosted, emergency accomodation project aims to provide people with the option of short-term respite and relief in addition to our refuge accomodation.

“Safe Havens hosts will play a key role in assisting their guests by making them feel safe and welcome in their home, giving them time to consider their next steps.”

The charity is running a series of information sessions for members of the public who are interested in becoming hosts. For more information, please email Mel.Milner@idas.org.uk

A Harrogate domestic abuse charity has spoken out after two recent crimes in Harrogate show the realities of coercive relationships for women.

In recent weeks a murder-suicide has been reported at the Majestic hotel and a man has been jailed for 18 months for exerting military-like control over his ex-partner.

Lindsay Oliver, CEO of New Beginnings a charity supporting female survivors of domestic abuse, and a survivor of domestic abuse herself, said these examples are difficult to read but far more common than people think.

As well as offering support for women she also campaigns for stronger sentencing for ex-partners and more education.

What is Coercive Control?

“Coercive control” is ongoing oppression with one partner trying to take control of the others’ life. This could include limiting access with family and friends, monitoring money and name calling.

Ms Oliver says victims of coercive behaviour are often not immediately aware of the behaviour. For the perpetrator it becomes about gaining control and limiting their partner’s self-worth to try and en-trap them further.

According to Refuge, two women a week are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales alone.

Two weeks ago Chenise Gregory was found dead at the Majestic hotel in Harrogate alongside another man. The police are treating it as a murder-suicide.

Her family spoke out online about their “beloved” Chenise and said she was “lured to her death at the hands of her controlling and manipulative ex-boyfriend.”

Last week we reported on a court case in which a man was sentenced to 18 months in jail after preventing his pregnant partner from getting pain relief during labour and assuming military-like command of her day-to-day life.

Ms Oliver said:

“The lucky ones survive. Many survivors will tell you the control, coercion, emotional and psychological abuse is so much harder to recover from than the physical injuries.  It’s in your head and the video is on constant replay. The lack of self worth this creates in victims and survivors is soul destroying.”

Read more:

• Charity Corner: New Beginnings offers support as women re-build their lives after their abusive relationship
• Ripon abuse survivor has written a book in hopes it can help others 

One of the women who has been supported by the charity spoke anonymously to the Stray Ferret. She said:

“If I went out with friends he would throw me down the stairs, he made me feel like staff in my own home. He told he behaved like that because of me and would say ‘if only your friends and family would but out.’ He convinced me over time I’d be better off dead and in the end I believed him.”

The women was with the man for six years, she said at the beginning it wasn’t easy to spot. She added over time you stop listening to other people who are trying to warn you.

Her mother also spoke anonymously to us, she said:

“It was very difficult. There’s only so many times you can tell her to leave. If I called her he’d smash the phone. To have that much control over her was scary.”

Where to go for further support

If you are in a physical or emotionally abusive relationship, click here to contact IDAS.

If you’re out of an abusive relationship but need further support you can self-refer to the New Beginnings charity. Email enquiries@newbeginningspeersupport.com or find them on Facebook here.

Domestic abuse has risen sharply in North Yorkshire — but police say this is mainly due to changes in methods of reporting.

Incidents of domestic abuse increased by 26 per cent in 2018/19 and by three per cent in 2019/20, according to latest crime statistics published by the Office for National Statistics yesterday.

But Detective Superintendent Allan Harder, of North Yorkshire Police, said this was largely down to the requirement to record multiple crimes where stalking and/or harassment has occurred, rather than simply one crime per incident. He said:

“Whilst we were hearing of this increased demand from our partners and in the national media, the number of domestic abuse incidents reported to North Yorkshire Police has remained level.

“Although victims have been seeking additional support, this is not associated with a significant rise in reported incidents.”

Fraud, which is one of North Yorkshire Police’s key priorities, has risen by 700 per cent since January 2019 but the force attributed this to people now reporting incidents directly to it rather than the agency Action Fraud.

A police spokesman said:

“Numbers of fraud incidents we are seeing each month since that time are staying fairly consistent.”

Just six murders occurred in North Yorkshire in the year ending June 2020. Only Bedfordshire, Dorset, Wiltshire and North Wales had fewer.

Burglary, theft, vehicle crime and criminal damage showed marked decreases, mainly due to the impact of the national lockdown on March 23.

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New Beginnings is a charity based in the Harrogate district offering support to female survivors of domestic abuse.

Its founder Lindsay Oliver has experienced domestic abuse first hand and recognised a gap for women after the initial support from crisis care services ends.

Lindsay fled 220 miles with her baby boy in June 2018 from the perpetrator after a two-year abusive relationship.

Once women are settled in new houses and often new areas the crisis care teams withdraw, Lindsay noticed they were then left feeling alone and confused.

Lindsay said:

“I didn’t have anyone that understood.

“New Beginnings is all about giving these women a network of people who get it. This week in the WhatsApp group someone asked ‘Have you experienced this?’ and we were able to help.”

The charity offers a number of different workshops for its clients and their children.

New Beginnings was set up in February 2020, with the help of Harrogate Borough Council officer Mel Milner, to offer women one-to-one peer support and to be part of a community of women who had similar experiences.

Over the years, New Beginnings has built relationships with local businesses and the food bank to offer their clients all the necessary support. The charity also works with therapists to offer workshops and coaching sessions for the women.

It currently supports 16 women, who have 34 children between them. The women are also offered help with family court processes and dealing with social services.

Lindsay added:

“For some, the abuse is still happening. Some of our clients’ children still see their other parent so they’re seeing their perpetrator week in, week out, and that is why they need ongoing support.”

Read more:

• The charity had to increase its services over lockdown to meet demand.
• IDAS, local abuse helpline, says lockdown has raised concerns over domestic abuse. 

Lindsay is passionate about education and works with her clients and their children to demonstrate what a healthy relationship looks like. The relationship she fled from wasn’t her first abusive relationship – she had experienced abuse in other relationships too.

Lindsay understands about changing a women’s mindset on what a relationship should look like, and her own experiences encourage her to work one-to-one with women to ensure they don’t fall into another negative relationship.

She said:

“It all starts with our kids, and if we can educate our own generation at the same time, then it’s even better.

“It’s important they all understand what a healthy relationship is – this is something we’re really determined about.”

With further funding the charity hopes to expand and grow its team.

The charity is currently looking for premises which can offer office space and a dry storage area to keep goods ready for clients who come with emergency needs.

It is also hoping to grow its team. It currently works with three therapists and four volunteers but hopes to bring on more paid members of staff in order to expand to other areas in the district.

To support the charity you can visit its GoFundMe page here.

Where to go for further support

If you are in a physical or emotionally abusive relationship, click here to contact IDAS.

If you’re out of an abusive relationship but need further support you can self-refer to the New Beginnings charity. Email enquiries@newbeginningspeersupport.com or find them on Facebook here.

This is the first in the Stray Ferret’s ‘Charity Corner’ series. In this monthly feature we want to highlight the stories behind some of our small, local charities to raise their profiles. Get in touch with us if you know of a small charity in the Harrogate district working hard to fundraise for a worthy cause. 

A Harrogate based domestic abuse charity is preparing for an increase of survivors following lockdown. Its CEO says the abuse can happen “closer than you think”.

New Beginnings works with female survivors of domestic abuse around Harrogate. It currently supports 10 women but those numbers of expected to double over the next three months.

Since lockdown, the charity has had to increase its support to a 24/7 Whatsapp group chat, welfare checks and 1:1 video and phone calls. This service has increased by approximately 700% as it is now supporting twice the number of women it was and on a more constant basis.

Over lockdown any plans for women that were housed in refuge centres or waiting for a house had to be put on pause. New Beginnings come in once the women are resettled into houses, its support continues for as long as the woman needs.

Lindsay Oliver, CEO of New Beginnings, said:

“There is a misconception amongst many individuals that despite recent coverage of the realities of domestic abuse that is doesn’t happen around here, with 1 in 3 women within their lifetime suffering domestic abuse, believe me it’s closer than you think!

“We’ve been told by IDAS that there’s a major backlog that will come through following this so we are getting prepared with more volunteers.

The charity also offers a variety of support including workshops to improve emotional intelligence and fresh food parcels.

Read more:

• Yorkshire’s largest domestic abuse charity, IDAS, warns risk of abuse could increase as lockdown continues.
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“I’ve found being a part of the group and still able to have sessions so to speak via group chat and phone calls a great help and still having the support and speaking freely knowing that it’s still private and confidential and I’m not alone.”

“When I moved to Harrogate from an abusive relationship they helped me regain my confidence and myself control, they are such lovely and kind people. They help me and give me so much and I’m so happy to be apart of the group.”

There is real concern that as lockdown continues they’ll be an increased risk to those isolating at home with an abusive or controlling partner.

North Yorkshire County Council is urging anyone who needs help to contact the Independent Domestic Abuse Service (IDAS). The service aims to provide anyone in need and also encourages friends and families of those needing support to contact the organisation.

IDAS is the largest domestic abuse service in Yorkshire and over lockdown has adapted to the change in circumstances to provide video calls and emailing. The organisation is also planning to set up a virtual support group over the coming weeks.

Sarah Hill, Chief Executive of IDAS, has warned that the risks to those isolating with an abusive partner could increase as lockdown continues. She said:

“We are really worried about the risks of people being isolated with abusive people whose behaviour may escalate due to increasing uncertainty, pressure on finances and cramped conditions. Many people who face controlling, violent or abusive behaviour from a partner or family member are likely to be feeling very scared about being isolated with them for long periods of time. We want them to know that there is support available. Over the next few months, we will work creatively and flexibly to provide vital services in very difficult circumstances.

Amongst the safety advice IDAS has offered, they say:

• Get a spare phone and store emergency contact numbers in it and hide it in a safe place or with a trusted person
• Keep your ID documents, emergency funds, bank cards and children’s birth certificates to hand
• Speak to your neighbours and ask them to ring the police if they hear or see anything
• Set up safe words with friends so they know to call for help on your behalf
• Plan to check in with people regularly so that they can raise the alarm if they don’t hear from you

IDAS aim to continue supporting as many people in the region as it can, including using online platforms.

Read more:

• Harrogate women’s refuge is concerned that whilst stuck at home abuse victims are too scared to call them. 

Charlotte, whose name has been changed, is a Domestic Abuse Practitioner she said:.

“During the coronavirus outbreak, the challenges have been to continue to deliver a safe and productive support service. We have adapted by using various platforms including WhatsApp and Zoom and have introduced ‘coffee morning chats’ with a couple of clients. The sessions have enabled them to discuss general ‘lockdown’ issues including how to keep the children pro-active, and issues with court proceedings. We are also planning to begin a new virtual support group based on the ‘Moving On from Domestic Abuse’ (MODA) group in the next couple of weeks.”