Poor broadband and mobile coverage in parts of North Yorkshire is making it more difficult to tackle domestic abuse, according to a charity.

IDAS has offices in Harrogate and Skipton and is the largest specialist charity in Yorkshire supporting people affected by domestic abuse and sexual violence.

Olivia King and Kerry Rose from IDAS gave a presentation to councillors at a meeting of Skipton and Ripon area constituency committee last Thursday where they gave details about the services it provides, including safe accommodation, one-to-one support for survivors and a confidential helpline.

The charity received 25,000 calls to their helpline last year which is a figure they said is increasing every year.

But reaching people is made more difficult due to poor broadband or mobile phone connections in the Dales and other rural parts of North Yorkshire.

Ms Rose said: 

“It’s something rural communities really struggle with. We’re saying to people, if you’re in trouble, call the police, and they’re saying to us, we can’t because we’ve got no service and the broadband is rubbish — what can I do?

“So we have to be quite creative in trying to keep them safe when they can’t even call the police. That becomes a worry.”

Ms King said the issue of poor broadband is one that older clients struggle with in particular.

She said: 

“Some of these people have additional needs such as dementia which prevents them from accessing the internet, or they just don’t want to. They like their phone and they don’t have internet access because they don’t want it.

“That does make it more difficult in those further out communities where there are worse transport links. Some people have nothing for miles. Signal and broadband is one of the main things that crops up as feedback from survivors.”

North Yorkshire Council is aiming to complete the fourth phase of its Superfast Broadband programme by March next year, with 200,000 premises, many of which in rural areas, benefitting from vastly improved internet connections since the project was launched in 2012.

The IDAS helpline is 0300 0110 110.

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• Government urged to help rural areas near Masham get broadband

An artist from Ripon who left an abusive marriage with thousands of pounds of debt has created a business with a turnover of £1 million.

Bonny Snowdon, 52, became a professional animal portrait artist in her mid-40s after her daughter bought her a colouring book and pencils seven years ago.

Despite not having drawn since she was a child, Bonny made it her full-time job within a couple of years, and now has a waiting list of 1,500 people hoping to commission one of her “hyper-realistic” pet portraits.

As well as Bonny Snowdon Fine Art, she has founded the Bonny Snowdon Academy and teaches 2,500 members how to create life-like drawings of their favourite animals. Most of the students are UK women aged 45 and over, thought she does have some from around the globe including India, Iran, the US and Australia.

The academy has inspired many of them to move into the art world in their professional lives and given them a new lease of life. Bonny said:

“Creativity is a portal to another world. It allows us to disappear from our everyday life – and if you don’t lead a very nice life that is just the most amazing thing.

“It quietens the mind – ‘busy hands, quiet mind’ is the saying and it’s so true. Creativity in any form is in my opinion essential for healthy minds. I know myself how helpful it was, disappearing for hours with my colouring book.”

The reason Bonny wanted to disappear into her artwork was a difficult home life.

She was subjected to mental abuse by her former husband, particularly after his father died. She said:

“He had always had a bit of anger issues and could be paranoid but nothing that really worried me. There were times where he’d put his fist through the wall but they were very few and far between.

“Then his dad died, and he took the death really badly: he became depressed but wouldn’t get help and things would swing from being okay to really awful. I lived on eggshells for years, not knowing when he was going to blow up.

“It got to the point where I was scared of talking about certain subjects: money was the main one, I could never talk about it and that’s the main reason I got into debt, I was too frightened to talk to him about needing to pay off a phone bill, that I ended up taking out credit cards and over time, the debt ballooned to over £22,000.

“In the end, he started talking about suicide and even told me he had located a place to do it, which terrified me. I tried so hard to support him and get him to the doctors, I rang the doctors and made appointments for him and went with him but when he sat there, he just said he was fine. It was a really dreadful time.”

Eventually, her husband moved out of the home they shared with their three children. He went on to marry someone else, but took his own life during the covid lockdown less than two years later.

Though she was no longer in the abusive relationship, Bonny’s home life was still financially difficult. She said:

“When he moved out, we discussed putting the family home up for sale, but I had nowhere to live and I had three teenage children and my three dogs. I remember being so worried about trying to find a rental property that would fit us all and take the dogs.

“I had just become a full-time artist and was not earning a huge amount of money then and had no real way of taking a mortgage on myself and paying him half the house. I was looking at rental properties which were going to cost more than the mortgage, and they didn’t take dogs.

“I can remember feeling sick all the time, trying to be okay for the children and run my then very new business.”

Bonny’s determination to make a success of her business has paid off.

She is on track to turn over £1 million this year, up from £450,000 in 2022, with a team of three now involved.

But knowing how difficult her life was during her marriage, Bonny is using her work to support IDAS, the north of England’s biggest domestic abuse and sexual violence charity. She is awarding free scholarships to her academy, including a year’s free membership and art materials, to five women it supports.

She said:

“Domestic abuse can happen to anyone at any time, mentally as well as physically. I wish with all my heart that these charities didn’t have to exist, but sadly having experienced mental abuse first-hand, I know what a lifeline they are and I feel honoured to be able to support them.

“There are ultimately two different kinds of people who join my membership: those who already have the skills and determination and just want an extra push in development, and those who are finding things a challenge, particularly around lack of self-belief and confidence.

“Being part of a community where everyone is cheering you on has a huge effect on self-esteem, having people who are feeling the same things, worrying about the same things, but are overcoming them and then sharing their stories really helps to show that it can be done.

“Everyone seems to think that they are the only ones who feel a certain way, but it’s just not true.”

As well as her art work and academy, Bonny offers some free tutorials, guides and events on her website, as well as a podcast. It’s a Bonny Old Life aims to increase people’s confidence by sharing inspiring personal stories, championing success, and supporting people to realise their dreams.

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North Yorkshire County Council has pledged to fund whatever is needed to help survivors of domestic abuse after it had “failed to spend” almost half a million pounds of government funding.

Opposition councillors called on the Conservative-run council to include the £450,000 of funding in its budget for the coming financial year, saying the cost of living crisis had led to a sharp rise in misogyny in the county and that domestic abuse could not “be put under the table”.

Nevertheless, after a lengthy debate, councillors voted against including the funding for domestic abuse in its budget for the coming year and approved a 4.99% rise in council tax.

The decision will mean average band D residents in North Yorkshire will pay between £2,090 and £2,158 in council tax for the coming year, and more if their parish authority levies a charge.

Labour councillor for Falsgrave and Stepney Liz Colling told a full council meeting that domestic abuse incidents reported to North Yorkshire Police in the county had risen from 7,825 to 8,652 in 2021.

Underlining its widespread impact on communities, she added 25% of domestic abuse victims were male.

Cllr Colling said: 

“I think it is time we invested in this service, we should be doing preventative work, tackling misogyny and gender-based violence in our schools and colleges and additional much-needed facilities.”

Other opposition members called for the money to be secured for a long-term domestic abuse strategy and point out how a domestic abuse refuge in Scarborough had been put on hold due to a rise in building costs.

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However, executive member for stronger communities, Cllr David Chance, replied £750,000 had been set aside for such services in the coming year, alongside a £100,000 contigency, as those were the sums officers believed would be needed.

Referring to the £450,0000, he said: 

“I can assure you if we need the money, we will use the money. The reason is to stop it being in the bottom line of this budget and in doing so it means we don’t have to use more contigency money.”

The meeting heard several leading Tory councillors underline that helping domestic abuse victims was a priority and that they were awaiting the results of a review into safe accommodation and domestic abuse services that had been commissioned jointly with City of York Council.

The authority’s deputy leader, Cllr Gareth Dadd, said the authority was set to receive £1.3m from government next year, and by removing the £450,000 from its spending plans it would help the council to maintain services to vulnerable people, including those for domestic abuse survivors.

He said one of the reasons the funding had not been spent was because the government had stipulated it must not be used for building-type projects.

Cllr Dadd said: 

“The government are not intending in taking it back. It’s a bit of a nonsense really. We will probably end up, in reality, side-shifting this funding pot into general balances and then taking a decision…”

This article is sponsored by Harrogate Family Law.

Coercive control is a form of domestic abuse in which a person attempts to exert an unreasonable, oppressive amount of control over their partner’s life.

Harrogate Family Law are specialists in this area and they are helping a growing number to resolve the difficult situation.

Abuse does not have to be physical or sexual to be an offence. Coercive control can include emotional and psychological abuse and can be very subtle, so is harder to identify.

By its very nature, coercive control can instil confusion and self-doubt in the victim, but Harrogate Family Law can help you be clear about what is taking place and prepare a safe route out of the situation for you and your family.

Andrew Meehan, director of Harrogate Family Law, said:

“We are getting clients from all over the country who are married to a controlling, narcissistic spouse. They have often been controlled financially and emotionally and have been kept in the dark about money. They often don’t have a clear picture of how much things cost and how they can afford to pay for things.

“We can offer advice and help them to move forward with a secure financial future.”

What are the signs of coercive control?

There are clear indications that the relationship you are in has spiralled towards coercive control, even if you have received no physical harm and the relationship is not necessarily “toxic”.

Coercive control happens when:

• You are isolated from your support system, i.e. family and friends
• Your activity is being monitored all day everyday – known as invasive surveillance
• Your freedom and autonomy is being denied – such as access to money or health and body freedom
• You are subjected to name-calling, shaming or criticism
• Your children are being turned against you, known as parental alienation
• You are subjected to jealous accusations

Mr Meehan has offered his three top tips on what to do if you think you are a victim of coercive control.

You are not alone

“There are a lot of people in the same situation. They are often conditioned to think there is no way out for them and they are effectively trapped.

“But their situation is something we see a lot of and something we can sort out for them. The situation is not hopeless.”

Get legal advice early 

“We have a niche in dealing with people who have been controlled by spouses or those who are married to a narcissist. We have got clients from all over the country and overseas looking for our expertise.

“Speak to a solicitor who understands how to deal with these kinds of people.”

Everyone’s situation is different

“Try to come to your first meeting as prepared as possible so that the advice we give can be as tailored to your circumstances as much as possible.

“This is difficult if your finances are being controlled. However, have a think about what you do know and we can take things from there. We can then be prepared to deal with what is most important to you.”

For a confidential chat with one of Harrogate Family Law’s expert solicitors regarding coercive control, call 01423 594 680 or email enquiries@harrogatefamilylaw.co.uk

A mum from Ripon will be signing copies of her book tomorrow about domestic abuse and the pain of losing a daughter to suicide.

Ally Garbutt said she decided to write Losing Lisa after escaping an abusive marriage that lasted 40 years.

The book is named after her daughter Lisa, who took her life aged just 23 after a difficult upbringing in the family home. She said she wanted to give Lisa a voice and tell her story.

Since splitting from her partner, Ms Garbutt has lost contact with her two youngest children and the book explores parental alienation, which is sometimes involved with family break up.

Ms Garbutt said:

“The book exposes what’s going on behind closed doors. It was traumatic writing it but also therapeutic. It helped me deal with abuse I had.”

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Profits from the book will go to domestic abuse charities. Ms Garbutt said she hopes the book will help other people in similar situations and show that there is a way out.

The author also reveals the traumatic psychological impact of coercive control, which is now recognised as a criminal offence.

She added:

“So many people are going through the same thing but you can get out and break the silence. After 40 years, I am free but it’s difficult.”

“I’m trying to get the message out there that people can break free from suffering and there is light at the end of the tunnel.”

The book is available to buy online from Amazon, WH Smith and Waterstones websites. Physical copies are available at Little Ripon Book Shop on 12-13 Westgate.

Ms Garbutt will be at the Little Ripon Book Shop from 11am-1pm tomorrow signing copies of the book.

A Harrogate furniture reuse charity has helped to furnish four properties for female survivors of domestic abuse.

Essential Needs, on Leeds Road, has partnered with Independent Domestic Abuse Services (IDAS), which is the largest specialist domestic abuse charity in Yorkshire.

The homes in the Harrogate area will be used by women moving away from violence and abuse.

Essential Needs provided four of each of the following items; sofa, bed, wardrobe, chest of drawers, bedside drawer, kitchen table and chairs, coffee table, TV and TV unit, microwave, kettle, toaster and vacuum.

Lee Wright, manager at Essential Needs said:

“Essential Needs wanted to support IDAS as their work is lifesaving and the pandemic has made conditions for victim-survivors even worse.

“It was great to be able to partner in a way that drew on both our strengths as charities, supporting people who really need the help and to give them the best chance of living a life free from abuse and violence.”

Lucinda, a fake name, is one of the survivors that has moved into one of the properties. She said:

“The flat is lovely and homely, it is great to have the freedom to be able to go for walks again. The staff have been really lovely, and kind and it makes me feel safe to know that they are just a phone call away.

“I was so worried about how I would do this on my own but now all my worries about moving have gone away. I am safe.”

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Essential Needs sells donated furniture at low prices at its Leeds Road warehouse.

IDAS said all the properties now have residents that are getting the support they need to recover from their experience and rebuild. It added it was always looking to accommodate and help more survivors of domestic abuse so will likely partner with Essential Needs again.

Mel Milner, project officer for IDAS dispersed housing and safe havens in Harrogate and district area, said:

“We are very grateful for the generosity of our partners at Essential Needs. When survivors escape abuse, it’s so important that it represents more than just a roof over their heads, so we work hard to furnish our properties with everything you would need to have the best fresh start.”

The founder of a Harrogate domestic abuse charity has blamed coronavirus for an increase in domestic abuse after the number of referrals tripled in a year.

Lindsay Oliver is chief executive of New Beginnings, which provides comfort and support to abused women when they have settled into new homes and the crisis team has withdrawn.

This time last year the charity took two referrals a month. More recently it has been receiving on average six a month.

The number of active clients over the same period has also more than doubled, from 15 to 35.

That increase in referrals and clients, Ms Oliver believes, is the after-effects of coronavirus lockdowns this year and last year. She told the Stray Ferret:

“We are just now starting to see the outcome of coronavirus. Many people need support but the Harrogate district has been so generous.

“It’s very difficult, particularly at Christmas. Part of the abuse is financial so these women often have lots of debt so struggle to buy gifts and a nice meal.

“With donations from the community and businesses we work with Roots and Fruits (Harrogate greengrocers) to provide our families with a big hamper of food and a turkey.

“Not only are we able to provide food with the support of our amazing community but we are also able to give them gifts, not just for the children but for the women too.”

Some of the donations for the Christmas campaign.

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Where can I go for further support?

If you are in a physical or emotionally abusive relationship, click here to contact IDAS, which is the largest charity in Yorkshire supporting people affected by domestic abuse and sexual violence.

If you’re out of an abusive relationship but need further support, you can self-refer to New Beginnings. Email enquiries@newbeginningspeersupport.com.

The number of referrals for domestic abuse help in York and North Yorkshire has risen by 80 per cent.

It means the number of victims seeking help from community-based support services has risen by about 4,000 people since 2019.

Trained staff working as independent domestic abuse advisors, who help victims, have much higher caseloads and some have handed in their notice, a public accountability meeting held by the North Yorkshire Police, Fire and Crime Commissioner heard this week.

Police data shows there were 1,917 domestic abuse crimes reported in the Harrogate district between January 2020 and June 2021.

Police and domestic abuse support organisations have continued to support victims throughout the pandemic through calls and online services, by arranging court orders remotely and by using extra government funding used to employ more advisors.

Jenni Newberry, head of commissioning at the office of the North Yorkshire Police, Fire and Crime Commissioner, said:

“Data shows that the volume of referrals into our support services significantly increased during the pandemic and referrals overall do remain very high.

“Referrals into our services have increased significantly. There has been an 80 per cent increase between 2019/20 and 2020/21. That equates to an additional 4,000 referrals.”

She said people also tend to need more intensive support during the pandemic because of other issues, including court delays and the need to spend more time with the perpetrator of the abuse in lockdown.

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But she added that one “positive” is that people have responded well to the support.

Pressure on the system

Ms Newberry said advisors had seen their average caseloads increase significantly from 56 clients in April 2020 to 76 in April 2021.

Extra funding from the Ministry of Justice has enabled the service to employ more domestic abuse advisors and Ms Newberry added: 

“We are relatively confident that we can manage these increased volumes of caseloads moving forward, but obviously there’s pressure on the system.

“We have seen [advisors] hand their notices in and there are only so many trained and ready to begin service.”

Meanwhile, there was an increase in children committing offences against parents during lockdown, North Yorkshire Police detective superintendent Allan Harder said.

He said one reason was that children wanted to leave home when restrictions were in place and this led to arguments.

He added:

“Throughout covid we have remained engaged and proactive to support victims of domestic abuse. We have worked with partners to deliver consistent services.”

Do you have a spare room in Harrogate that could host victims of domestic abuse?

The domestic abuse charity IDAS says too often people leaving an abusive relationship are unable to access emergency accommodation to help them plan for their future.

It runs a project called Safe Havens where hosts receive specialist training and provide accommodation for people who are escaping dangerous situations. They are also supported by a dedicated domestic abuse worker.

Pauline (not her real name), a survivor of domestic abuse, said:

“If I had known what help was out there when I was trying to leave, things would have turned out very differently for me. I was young and very scared of my then husband. My family not only did not recognise the abuse but wanted me to stay with my husband. It was only when he went on to remarry his second wife, who left him for the same reasons, that people began to realise what he was.

“I wish I could have taken my daughter and run, even just for a few days to get my head straight, but I had nowhere safe to go and he’d threaten me with awful things if I tried. I know now that IDAS would have helped, and I could have avoided 8 years of pain. Being offered a safe place, for a short time might have made all the difference to me and I’m sure it will make all the difference to people who are trapped with abusers now.”

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Anna Dinsdale, Local Area Manager IDAS, added:

“Escaping an abusive partner or family member is rarely straight forward, it takes tremendous bravery and courage. The IDAS Safe Havens hosted, emergency accomodation project aims to provide people with the option of short-term respite and relief in addition to our refuge accomodation.

“Safe Havens hosts will play a key role in assisting their guests by making them feel safe and welcome in their home, giving them time to consider their next steps.”

The charity is running a series of information sessions for members of the public who are interested in becoming hosts. For more information, please email Mel.Milner@idas.org.uk