The founder of a Harrogate domestic abuse charity has blamed coronavirus for an increase in domestic abuse after the number of referrals tripled in a year.

Lindsay Oliver is chief executive of New Beginnings, which provides comfort and support to abused women when they have settled into new homes and the crisis team has withdrawn.

This time last year the charity took two referrals a month. More recently it has been receiving on average six a month.

The number of active clients over the same period has also more than doubled, from 15 to 35.

That increase in referrals and clients, Ms Oliver believes, is the after-effects of coronavirus lockdowns this year and last year. She told the Stray Ferret:

“We are just now starting to see the outcome of coronavirus. Many people need support but the Harrogate district has been so generous.

“It’s very difficult, particularly at Christmas. Part of the abuse is financial so these women often have lots of debt so struggle to buy gifts and a nice meal.

“With donations from the community and businesses we work with Roots and Fruits (Harrogate greengrocers) to provide our families with a big hamper of food and a turkey.

“Not only are we able to provide food with the support of our amazing community but we are also able to give them gifts, not just for the children but for the women too.”

Some of the donations for the Christmas campaign.

Read more:

• The charity offering ‘New Beginnings’ for female survivors of domestic abuse
• Harrogate charity speaks out after recent violent crime against women

Where can I go for further support?

If you are in a physical or emotionally abusive relationship, click here to contact IDAS, which is the largest charity in Yorkshire supporting people affected by domestic abuse and sexual violence.

If you’re out of an abusive relationship but need further support, you can self-refer to New Beginnings. Email enquiries@newbeginningspeersupport.com.

A Harrogate domestic abuse charity has spoken out after two recent crimes in Harrogate show the realities of coercive relationships for women.

In recent weeks a murder-suicide has been reported at the Majestic hotel and a man has been jailed for 18 months for exerting military-like control over his ex-partner.

Lindsay Oliver, CEO of New Beginnings a charity supporting female survivors of domestic abuse, and a survivor of domestic abuse herself, said these examples are difficult to read but far more common than people think.

As well as offering support for women she also campaigns for stronger sentencing for ex-partners and more education.

What is Coercive Control?

“Coercive control” is ongoing oppression with one partner trying to take control of the others’ life. This could include limiting access with family and friends, monitoring money and name calling.

Ms Oliver says victims of coercive behaviour are often not immediately aware of the behaviour. For the perpetrator it becomes about gaining control and limiting their partner’s self-worth to try and en-trap them further.

According to Refuge, two women a week are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales alone.

Two weeks ago Chenise Gregory was found dead at the Majestic hotel in Harrogate alongside another man. The police are treating it as a murder-suicide.

Her family spoke out online about their “beloved” Chenise and said she was “lured to her death at the hands of her controlling and manipulative ex-boyfriend.”

Last week we reported on a court case in which a man was sentenced to 18 months in jail after preventing his pregnant partner from getting pain relief during labour and assuming military-like command of her day-to-day life.

Ms Oliver said:

“The lucky ones survive. Many survivors will tell you the control, coercion, emotional and psychological abuse is so much harder to recover from than the physical injuries.  It’s in your head and the video is on constant replay. The lack of self worth this creates in victims and survivors is soul destroying.”

Read more:

• Charity Corner: New Beginnings offers support as women re-build their lives after their abusive relationship
• Ripon abuse survivor has written a book in hopes it can help others 

One of the women who has been supported by the charity spoke anonymously to the Stray Ferret. She said:

“If I went out with friends he would throw me down the stairs, he made me feel like staff in my own home. He told he behaved like that because of me and would say ‘if only your friends and family would but out.’ He convinced me over time I’d be better off dead and in the end I believed him.”

The women was with the man for six years, she said at the beginning it wasn’t easy to spot. She added over time you stop listening to other people who are trying to warn you.

Her mother also spoke anonymously to us, she said:

“It was very difficult. There’s only so many times you can tell her to leave. If I called her he’d smash the phone. To have that much control over her was scary.”

Where to go for further support

If you are in a physical or emotionally abusive relationship, click here to contact IDAS.

If you’re out of an abusive relationship but need further support you can self-refer to the New Beginnings charity. Email enquiries@newbeginningspeersupport.com or find them on Facebook here.

Covid Co-Operation Harrogate has successfully raised £2,400 to buy Xmas gifts for disadvantaged children in the district.

The “Smiles, Not Tears” campaign Crowdfunded the money in just over a month.

Covid Co-Operation Harrogate has 10,500 members in its Facebook group and was set up as a community support group before the first lockdown. Its co-founder Susie Little said the appeal for money is directly due to the pandemic.

“People have contacted me privately outside the group and are struggling.  I thought if they can’t afford food how can their parents afford gifts for their children at Christmas? And how do you understand that as a child? It’s very upsetting. “

The group will now work with a number of local charities such as New Beginnings and IDAS (both support women and families who have been the victims of domestic abuse) and Grove Road Primary School to coordinate buying and delivering the gifts to children.  The aim is to buy the presents from local independent stores.

Read More:

• Grove Road Primary school makes public appeal for food for pupils
• St Michaels hospice brings families together for virtual Christmas service 

Ms Little said she was delighted by the response and thanked all those who had donated:

“This appeal is directly related to covid. People have faced redundancy and having the kids at home more- that means more food and heating the home. Everything is more expensive if you’re at home and have lost your job.

I’m proud and delighted by the success of this appeal, and again, by the extraordinary generosity of the people of Harrogate…this initiative will mean lots of smiles on Christmas Day, rather than tears.  Thank you to everyone who has donated and helped to make such a difference to these children and their parents.”

 

New Beginnings is a charity based in the Harrogate district offering support to female survivors of domestic abuse.

Its founder Lindsay Oliver has experienced domestic abuse first hand and recognised a gap for women after the initial support from crisis care services ends.

Lindsay fled 220 miles with her baby boy in June 2018 from the perpetrator after a two-year abusive relationship.

Once women are settled in new houses and often new areas the crisis care teams withdraw, Lindsay noticed they were then left feeling alone and confused.

Lindsay said:

“I didn’t have anyone that understood.

“New Beginnings is all about giving these women a network of people who get it. This week in the WhatsApp group someone asked ‘Have you experienced this?’ and we were able to help.”

The charity offers a number of different workshops for its clients and their children.

New Beginnings was set up in February 2020, with the help of Harrogate Borough Council officer Mel Milner, to offer women one-to-one peer support and to be part of a community of women who had similar experiences.

Over the years, New Beginnings has built relationships with local businesses and the food bank to offer their clients all the necessary support. The charity also works with therapists to offer workshops and coaching sessions for the women.

It currently supports 16 women, who have 34 children between them. The women are also offered help with family court processes and dealing with social services.

Lindsay added:

“For some, the abuse is still happening. Some of our clients’ children still see their other parent so they’re seeing their perpetrator week in, week out, and that is why they need ongoing support.”

Read more:

• The charity had to increase its services over lockdown to meet demand.
• IDAS, local abuse helpline, says lockdown has raised concerns over domestic abuse. 

Lindsay is passionate about education and works with her clients and their children to demonstrate what a healthy relationship looks like. The relationship she fled from wasn’t her first abusive relationship – she had experienced abuse in other relationships too.

Lindsay understands about changing a women’s mindset on what a relationship should look like, and her own experiences encourage her to work one-to-one with women to ensure they don’t fall into another negative relationship.

She said:

“It all starts with our kids, and if we can educate our own generation at the same time, then it’s even better.

“It’s important they all understand what a healthy relationship is – this is something we’re really determined about.”

With further funding the charity hopes to expand and grow its team.

The charity is currently looking for premises which can offer office space and a dry storage area to keep goods ready for clients who come with emergency needs.

It is also hoping to grow its team. It currently works with three therapists and four volunteers but hopes to bring on more paid members of staff in order to expand to other areas in the district.

To support the charity you can visit its GoFundMe page here.

Where to go for further support

If you are in a physical or emotionally abusive relationship, click here to contact IDAS.

If you’re out of an abusive relationship but need further support you can self-refer to the New Beginnings charity. Email enquiries@newbeginningspeersupport.com or find them on Facebook here.

This is the first in the Stray Ferret’s ‘Charity Corner’ series. In this monthly feature we want to highlight the stories behind some of our small, local charities to raise their profiles. Get in touch with us if you know of a small charity in the Harrogate district working hard to fundraise for a worthy cause. 

A Harrogate based domestic abuse charity is preparing for an increase of survivors following lockdown. Its CEO says the abuse can happen “closer than you think”.

New Beginnings works with female survivors of domestic abuse around Harrogate. It currently supports 10 women but those numbers of expected to double over the next three months.

Since lockdown, the charity has had to increase its support to a 24/7 Whatsapp group chat, welfare checks and 1:1 video and phone calls. This service has increased by approximately 700% as it is now supporting twice the number of women it was and on a more constant basis.

Over lockdown any plans for women that were housed in refuge centres or waiting for a house had to be put on pause. New Beginnings come in once the women are resettled into houses, its support continues for as long as the woman needs.

Lindsay Oliver, CEO of New Beginnings, said:

“There is a misconception amongst many individuals that despite recent coverage of the realities of domestic abuse that is doesn’t happen around here, with 1 in 3 women within their lifetime suffering domestic abuse, believe me it’s closer than you think!

“We’ve been told by IDAS that there’s a major backlog that will come through following this so we are getting prepared with more volunteers.

The charity also offers a variety of support including workshops to improve emotional intelligence and fresh food parcels.

Read more:

• Yorkshire’s largest domestic abuse charity, IDAS, warns risk of abuse could increase as lockdown continues.
• Harrogate charity is expecting more calls for help following coronavirus as further consequences are revealed. 

“I’ve found being a part of the group and still able to have sessions so to speak via group chat and phone calls a great help and still having the support and speaking freely knowing that it’s still private and confidential and I’m not alone.”

“When I moved to Harrogate from an abusive relationship they helped me regain my confidence and myself control, they are such lovely and kind people. They help me and give me so much and I’m so happy to be apart of the group.”