Gracious Street Methodist Church in Knaresborough is to host a series of events on bereavement, grief and loss.

The church will host an art exhibition featuring work created in response to grief and loss between May 11 and June 16.

Amateur and professional artists have provided illustrations, paintings, poetry, short films and music for the exhibition, which will launch during Dying Matters Awareness Week. The annual week encourages people to talk more openly about death.

The church will then stage further events aimed at people wishing to find out more about support available around death, dying and bereavement.

On May 12,  a free drop in between 11am and 2pm will include stalls by Full Circle Funerals, solicitors Grahame Stowe Bateson, bereavement support organisation Just B and Supporting Older People.

The church will then host a ‘music and words’ session on May 19 between 11am and 2pm where Leeds-based charity The Swan Song Project will run a free musical workshop between 11am and 12.30pm and there will be small information stalls by Full Circle Funerals and Just B Bereavement Services.

On May 26, as part of Dementia Action Week, Dementia Forward, Graham Stowe Bateson, Home Instead and Full Circle Funerals will have stalls to support people who would like to talk about living with dementia or how to consider and express your end of life wishes.

Further events on environmentally friendly funerals will be held on June 2 and on support around bereavement and end of life care / planning in younger people on June 9.

For more information about any of these events contact david@fullcirclefunerals.co.uk.

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Our Angels, a charity set up by grieving parents, has received a cheque for £12,000 raised by recycling metals recovered from cremations. 

The money was donated by Harrogate Borough Council, whose bereavement services sell off the metals twice a year, with consent from bereaved families. 

The recycled metals include those used in the construction of the coffins and in orthopaedic implants such as replacements hips and knees and replacement joints. 

Our Angels was formed in January 2009 when a group of bereaved parents joined together to support families who had lost a baby. 

Emma Lofthouse, chairperson of Our Angels, said: 

“Without generous donations like this one from Harrogate Borough Council, Our Angels would not be able to provide its vital support services for bereaved parents.

“Although, sadly, we can’t stop the loss of a baby, we can make sure that every family who faces a loss knows that there is support out there for them.

“Every penny we receive goes into caring for families in their hardest moments, from the memory boxes, sibling support packs, miscarriage care packs, right through to the vital equipment we supply to the Harrogate hospital maternity ward.”

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Cllr Sam Gibbs, the council’s cabinet member for environment, waste reduction and recycling, said: 

“I’d like to thank those families who, during a difficult time, have consented to us recycling metals recovered. By raising this money, everyone involved has done their bit to helping local charities such as Our Angels.” 

Harrogate borough mayor Cllr Victoria Oldham said:

“Our Angels support so many bereaved parents at what must be such a difficult time. I hope these valuable funds will help them make a difference to the lives of people they support across the Harrogate district.”

The photo shows commercial and community development manager Jon Clubb, Harrogate mayor Cllr Victoria Oldham, chairperson of Our Angels Emma Lofthouse, Harrogate deputy mayor Cllr Robert Windass and bereavement services manager Stephen Hemsworth.

People who have lost babies are being invited to light a candle or leave a message at St Peter’s Church, Harrogate next week.

Baby Loss Awareness Week, which runs from October 9 to 15, is an awareness and support campaign around pregnancy and baby loss.

One in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage and 250 babies are stillborn every day in the UK.

Reflect, a pregnancy loss support charity, will be holding a Light a Candle remembrance event from 12.45pm to 2pm on Tuesday at St Peter’s Church. People will be able to light a candle or leave a message in remembrance of their loss.

Baby Loss Awareness Week, now in its 20th year, enables those affected to come together to remember and commemorate lost children.

The week also provides an opportunity to raise awareness of the impact of pregnancy and baby loss and the importance of bereavement support.

Tanya Allen from Reflect charity said:

“We hope that our Light a Candle event will provide an opportunity for local bereaved parents and families to remember their precious babies. We also would like anyone dealing with the pain of pregnancy and baby loss to know that there is support available; at Reflect we provide free one-to-one support for individuals and couples.”

Baby Loss Awareness Week is observed internationally and culminates with the Wave of Light on October 15, when people across the world light a candle at 7pm local time and leave it burning to remember all babies that have died too soon.

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Bereaved families have accused dog owners who let their pets off the leash at a Ripon cemetery of being disrespectful and causing distress.

Jeanette Behan has visited the grave her husband Brian in Ripon’s Kirby Road Cemetery twice a week since 2014.

Mrs Behan, told the Stray Ferret:

“I’ve had to remove dog dirt from my husband’s grave on a number of occasions and I’m getting sick of it.

“It is disrespectful as well as distressing, but Harrogate Borough Council, who I contacted weeks ago, don’t appear want to know.

“I’m sorry to say that over the years, this place has gone to wrack and ruin, while Stonefall in Harrogate where I have family and friends buried, is kept neat and tidy by a team of gardeners.”

In the same section of the cemetery, the last resting place of Michael Hogan, who died in 2012, is looked after by his partner Tracey Bland.

Ms Bland said:

“The thought that some people are so disrespectful that they are happy to let their dogs run free in a cemetery, is beyond belief.

“When they are challenged, the say that they haven’t seen any signs to say dogs are not allowed, but why would anybody need to see a sign, when it’s a matter of common decency.

“I’ve got a dog and there is no way that I would let it run free across people’s graves.”

Some owners are ignoring this sign at the main entrance to the cemetery and letting their dogs run free

Ms Bland at her partner Michael’s grave

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Seeking action from Harrogate Borough Council

With a lack of response from HBC, Mrs Behan called for intervention from independent councillor, Pauline McHardy, who also has relatives buried at the cemetery and has voiced concerns about the management and maintenance of the site.

Cllr McHardy, said:

“I raised the matter with council officers, saying that there was a need for signage on all entrances to the cemetery to be improved and positioned where it can be seen by everybody.

“I also asked for the appropriate action to be taken to enforce the rule, which only allows people with assistance dogs to enter the cemetery.”

In an email response seen by the Stray Ferret, Alison Wilson, HBC’s head of parks and environmental services, said she has asked a colleague:

“to look at the signage options for the site to advise that only support dogs are allowed and also raised the issue with the dog warden service in Safer Communities requesting they undertake some patrols of the site. “

Cllr McHardy, added:

“I will be monitoring the situation.”

Ripon Cathedral has hosted the first national memorial service for people in rural communities who have lost their lives in farming accidents or to suicide or other causes during the pandemic.

The ecumenical service led by the Bishop of Ripon, the Rt. Revd. Dr Helen-Ann Hartley, was organised by the Farming Community Network, a charity that supports farmers.

It was attended by the Lord Lieutenant of North Yorkshire Jo Ropner and officials from the network and the National Farmers’ Union.

Dr Hartley, who is an FCN trustee, said:

“We give thanks for those whose work it is to bring comfort and light, for charities like FCN and its volunteers, for the skilled work of medical staff and our emergency services, for the NFU, and for those who work tirelessly to fundraise and provide vision and leadership to charities and organisations who assist in the farming sector.”

Ripon Cathedral, which hosted a national memorial and thanksgiving service for the farming community.

Hope, unity and the need for people across agriculture to come together in support of one another, as part of a community, were highlighted during the service,  which recognised the experience of loss felt by all those who have been bereaved.

More than 100 attended last Sunday, either in person or thorough live-streaming, to join in hymns and hear readings and personal accounts of those being remembered.

Following the service, NFU deputy president, Stuart Roberts, said:

“The farming community will always be there to support one another. People are at the heart of farming. FCN and other charities are the people who support people – and that’s why they’re so important.”

Mark Suthern, chair of FCN’s board of trustees, also spoke of the need for the community to support one another through the changes ahead for British agriculture.

Farm tragedies

The FCN helps about 6,000 farmers and farming families each year with a wide range of issues, including mental health, family disputes, animal disease and financial concerns.

The network’s chief executive, Jude McCann, said:

“The farming community knows all too well the pain that comes following a death due to a farm accident or other tragic circumstance.

“Many of us will know someone personally who has been affected by a farm accident, a death by suicide, cancer, or other tragedies that leave lasting impacts on farming families across the UK.

“We would like to thank everyone who attended, took part and helped to organise our Remembrance Service. We hope it provided an opportunity to recognise those who have died as well as provided support and comfort to those who have been bereaved.”

Anybody who is struggling, or knows somebody who is and would like to speak with someone who understands the pressures of farming life, can contact the FCN on 03000 111 999 (7am-11pm every day of the year) or at help@fcn.org.uk.

Calls are confidential and non-judgemental.

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Two senior Ripon councillors have stepped up calls for an urgent tidy up of Ripon Cemetery.

Last week, Ripon City Council leader Andrew Williams and fellow independent Pauline McHardy, accused Harrogate Borough Council (HBC) of ‘disrespecting the dead of Ripon’ and causing ‘distress’ to their relatives and friends.

At the same time, people visiting the  cemetery on Kirkby Road spoke of their ‘distress and disgust.’

They were concerned that unmown grass has grown to such a height it makes finding and visiting graves difficult.

In some areas of Ripon cemetery, overhanging trees and hedges completely obscure rows of graves.

Cllr Williams, who has generations of his own family buried at the cemetery, pointed out:

“When you look at the care given by the borough council to Stonefall and compare it with Ripon, the contrast is there for all to see.

“I don’t think that it is unreasonable to expect the council to deliver the same standard of service across the entire district.

“It is deeply disrespectful to those with deceased relatives in other parts of the Harrogate District to provide a high standard of maintenance at Stonefall and a much lower one elsewhere.”

The above photograph was taken at Stonefall Cemetery in Harrogate on Friday (11 June).

Now cllr McHardy, a city and district councillor, has contacted conservative cllr Andrew Paraskos, HBC cabinet member for environment, waste reduction and recycling, whose portfolio includes 11 district cemeteries, and called for him to take immediate action.

She told the Stray Ferret:

“People in Ripon are angry that they and their deceased relatives are being treated like second-class citizens.

“What you can see in Ripon isn’t ‘re-wilding’ for the benefit of nature, it’s purely and simply a cost-cutting exercise.”

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Last week, an HBC spokesperson, said:

“Visitors to several of the cemeteries across the district may start to notice that some areas are being left to grow and not mown.

“We want to encourage biodiversity so are working with parish councils to leave specific areas to grow, attract pollinators and create habitats

“We have a regular programme of work, across all of the district’s cemeteries that we manage, and when specific issues are raised we will work to address these and carry out any required maintenance.

“We will of course continue to mow the grass along pathways and around gravestones so that mourners can pay their respects to their loved ones.”

Harrogate Borough Council (HBC) has been accused of ‘disrespecting the dead of Ripon’ and causing ‘distress’ to their relatives and friends.

People visiting the city’s cemetery on Kirkby Road this week spoke of their ‘distress and disgust.’

They are concerned about unmown grass that has grown to a height that makes finding and visiting graves difficult.

In some areas of the cemetery, overhanging trees and hedges completely obscure rows of graves.

Ripon City Council leader Andrew Williams, who has generations of his own family buried at the cemetery, told the Stray Ferret:

“The very limited maintenance of the grounds, perimeter hedges and trees is disrespectful of those who have their last resting place here.

“Visiting the graves of loved ones should provide consolation and help those who grieve, but instead of finding this peace, the state of the cemetery adds to their distress.”

Pictured above is the last headstone visible in a line of graves engulfed by an overgrown perimeter hedge

Rita Stuart, whose husband Robert died in February, was visiting to place flowers. She said:

“I feel as though the council doesn’t care.”

Tina Ward regularly visits the cemetery to pay her respects to family and friends who have passed. She pointed out:

“For many years this used to be a peaceful and well-kept place, with a man who looked after it living in a house within the grounds.

“Now, there is no proper care and It has descended into this disgusting condition.”

Pat Park, whose parents and sister are buried at the cemetery, added:

“Many of the people who visit are elderly and have limited mobility.

“The length of the grass makes visiting the graves very difficult, if not impossible.”

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Recently the council has been accused of not doing enough at another cemetery in Knaresborough where areas of the graveyard were overgrown. 

In responding to the concerns an HBC spokesperson, said:

“Visitors to several of the cemeteries across the district may start to notice that some areas are being left to grow and not mown.

“We want to encourage biodiversity so are working with parish councils to leave specific areas to grow, attract pollinators and create habitats

“We have a regular programme of work, across all of the district’s cemeteries that we manage, and when specific issues are raised we will work to address these and carry out any required maintenance.

“We will of course continue to mow the grass along pathways and around gravestones so that mourners can pay their respects to their loved ones.”

Independent city and Harrogate district councillor Pauline McHardy has family members, friends and former nursing colleagues buried at the cemetery.

She said:

“There has been no consultation with Ripon City Council about plans for ‘re-wilding.’

“It’s clear to me that this is an excuse for cutting costs, instead of cutting the grass and trimming hedges and bushes.

“This is a cemetery, not a nature reserve.”

Prayers are being said for Prince Philip, The Queen and Royal Family at Ripon Cathedral today.

Britain has entered a week of national mourning following the Duke of Edinburgh’s death.

The cathedral will be open until 5pm for both private prayer and Sunday services.

From tomorrow (Monday) and the rest of the week, opening hours are being extended from 10am until 7pm.

Socially-distanced prayer stations are in place for visitors and floral tributes can be left outside.

The flag of St George flies at half mast at the Parish Church of St Andrew in Kirkby Malzeard

The cathedral, which Prince Philip visited with The Queen in 1985 for the Royal Maundy Service, provides the city with a focal point for mourning prior to his funeral on Saturday.

The Dean of Ripon, the Very Revd. John Dobson, said:

“Our thoughts and prayers are obviously with Her Majesty the Queen and her family. We pray for comfort and strength for them.

“In this Easter week, we remember the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. It is with hope and confidence that we pray for the soul of Prince Philip, commending him to God’s safe and sure keeping.”

The Revd Canon Michael Gisbourne, canon precentor, at the cathedral, added this prayer:

“God of our lives, we give thanks for the life of Prince Philip, for the love he shared among us and for his devotion to duty.

“We entrust him now to your love and mercy through our Redeemer Jesus Christ.

“Merciful God, be close to all who mourn, especially Her Majesty The Queen and all members of the Royal Family. May they know the hope of your promises and the comfort of your love, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”

 An online book of condolences can be accessed via riponcathedral.org.uk

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Private prayer will be said today and in the coming week at churches of all denominations across the Harrogate district.

They, along with public buildings are flying flags at half mast to mark the Duke of Edinburgh’s passing.

This article is sponsored by Full Circle Funerals. 

A campaign launched by funeral directors in Yorkshire is aiming to raise awareness of the positive impact leaving a funeral wish can have on those making arrangements after someone has died.

Currently only 50% of people leave funeral wishes despite research suggesting that those arranging a funeral find it ‘consoling’ to be able to fulfil the wishes of the person who has died.

A study by Dr Julie Rugg and Dr Sarah Jones, from Yorkshire-based Full Circle Funerals, found that in the absence of wishes, people described feeling anxious and uncertain about whether the choices they were making were acceptable to the person who had died.

People in the study who were able to fulfil funeral wishes described this as a “gift” to the person who had died and said that this was very helpful when arranging the funeral. It has inspired a campaign by Full Circle Funerals to encourage more people to leave a funeral wish.

The study’s co-author, Sarah Jones, founded Full Circle Funerals to create a service that is strongly focused on the well-being of bereaved individuals. She said:

“We are not talking here about making a full blown full funeral plan, it can be enough to leave a single simple wish such as a preferred poem, prayer, or flower choice.”

“What matters is that those making the funeral arrangement have something to focus on and make happen, which often feels like a gift to the person who has died and may have an enormously positive impact on their grief in the longer term.

“In fact, in some instances simple may even be better because it can sometimes be difficult to deliver a detailed funeral plan, particularly at the moment when things are so restricted.”

The #leaveafuneralwish campaign aims to raise awareness of the value of sharing just one wish and the benefits it can bring when it comes to bereavement.

Sarah said a lack of funeral wishes can also exacerbate differences between decision makers when sorting out arrangements.

She explained: “We know it isn’t an easy conversation to have but we hope this campaign will encourage a few more conversations between family and friends about whether they have a preferred funeral song, a favourite poem or flower or even if they would like a church service or not.

“From the many conversations we have had with people we have supported over the years we know first-hand how much it helps to know just one thing that the person who died would have wanted at their funeral.”

Sharing his own experiences after losing his aunt, Muriel, Jonathan Holmes said: “Knowing Muriel’s wishes was very helpful for me and my family.  It meant we knew exactly what she wanted so it took all the uncertainly away.  It also felt really special to be able to give her the funeral that she wanted and feel confident that she would be happy with what we had created.”

For more information about funeral wishes, bereavement support and other useful advice, visit Full Circle Funerals. 

Full Circle Funerals are modern funeral directors, committed to supporting the wellbeing of every bereaved individual. You can find Full Circle in Harrogate, Halifax, Guiseley and Bramley.